sleep over

Partick, Mason, Eli, Mitchell, and Ben (leader) plus myself = awesome sleep over madness!! Awesome night here we come! (9:11pm)

-Grace&Peace

I needed to hear this today

"He took the cup of wrath and splashed it on my perfectly sinless and bleeding face, and what's worse is God did this to Christ with a smile. It pleased God to crush Christ for me. . . ." For me, that is a powerful statement to me.

The very first level of Christianity is complete denial of your sins and everything you have ever known!! To really understand this, your life has to change. I need challenged in this area of my life. That I may be more like Him who atones for me in every bit of my being.

"True love for God means true hatred of sin." Ouch, that one bit's at the core of my existence. It is challenging in how I interact with sooo many things. I love this, and take it as a personal challenge.

I, Mikey Riley, stand for Jesus Christ. I have all confidence in knowing that God has changed me from my most basic piece of being. I want to know the character more and more, so that my most very basic knowledge is based off of what He teaches and feels.

All you have is now. . .

Now hear this.

This is what I have so far today. . .

Through great weakness God has made me strong. Struggle ensued this morning right from the get go. 6AM and the "emotional roof" I was standing under crumbled in on me. I was angry, I was confused, and I did not turn directly to God. With time, and patience I eventually surrendered (all happened within 1.5 hours. A quick realization to say the least. I left my house at 6:40AM with my dad, I got donuts, dropped my dad off at work, and then went to Snider. I was supposed to meet Ben (Young Life leader), but he accidentally slept in. It was good though, I needed to go at this alone. I was more alive and welcoming this morning than ever before. I got extra donuts because I felt like I would need them. It is funny, as the kids start to trust me, and know I am not just some weirdo passing out donuts, they start to take more. The first time Ben and I did this, we hardly got through 4 containers, maybe 3 at best. This morning I went through 6 containers solo. Kids talk to me more, and really like that I am there. They often ask me, "why do you do this?" I tell them, "because I love making you guys smile," or "I just love being able to love on people." It is extraordinary. I went to school, where I am at right now. It is 9:59AM, and I should be studying Religion & Culture, but I am having trouble focusing. I have had so many "God encounters" already this morning, that I am blown away YET AGAIN at the power of my God. When I am weak, if I only rely on HIM for my EVERYTHING, he always comes through. I have no earthly reason to be smiling or fulfilled, but I am. I crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me, the life I live in the body, I live through faith in the Son of God, who loves me and gave himself for me. Galations 2:20 baby!!! I am blessed. Amazingly blessed. It is powerful when you live by the Holy Spirit, and you allow Him to direct your every action. I'm in it, and I don't ever want to get out.

I went to school, and wrote a paper and then studied for a Religion & Culture exam.

When i was at IPFW, they were filming this thing for the new freshmen orientation. So, while I was sitting in this quiet corner thingy, they brought in all this filming equipment, and started filming. It was funny, because the girl who is sitting at the piano and I were talking, and then they wrapped her into being in the film.

I took a kid out to eat, and we had some killer conversation. Then, I went to Ben's (fellow YL leader) house to help finish up on that film I made with the guys last Friday. It was really fun, and Ben is good at that editing stuff. But, while I was at Ben's house, I decided to be helpful and started doing the dishes for him and his 2 roommates. Well, after I got the water all ready. . . . .

I dove into start cleaning the dishes. I got a couple of things cleaned, or maybe just one. And I found the knife. The extremely sharp and violent knife. It sliced the heck out of my poor right index finger. Sliced it real bad. I went to the ER and ended up having to get 5 stitches.

Today has been one of those days. The kind that would be nice to forget, but you know you won't because you have to learn from it and move forward. Life can be difficult at times. I'm okay with that. My finger sure does hurt though. So does my emotions.

club tonight was real good maaan

Me eating with fellow Young Life leaders. My surrogate family members. We are a unique bunch, but I wouldn't trade them for the world.

I gave the talk tonight at club. I talked about Sin. And how it is not the outward expression or manifestation (swearing, sex, binge drinking, gossip, cheating, etc.) But it is the disconnection from God that is the real problem. Romans 6:23 says, For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus. We deserve death, as a consequence of our sins. BUT, Jesus paid that price for us. I did not get that far into the message, the goal was to help the kids recognize what sin really is instead of believing that it is something that they are doing. Because in the grand scheme of things, our actions matter not. It is all about the heart. I thought it went really well.

worship from the SOUL!

I went to Campus Crusades tonight. It was amazing. My friend Chris Lee (pictured in picture above) gave the talk. And while he was all over the place with his thoughts, he really interacted well with everyone in the room, and it was very powerful. At least to me it was. I love the passion he brings into everything he does. It is very inspirational to me. He wears his faith on his sleeve, and I love it. Next Tuesday I am giving the talk at CREW. The topic I will be speaking about is the Holy Spirit. Dang, my mind is just racing about what I am going to speak about. The verses to use, and the examples from my life that I am going to illustrate. This is the stuff that gets me super excited. I am just in the right place when I get to talk in front of a group of peers or kids. I just feel like I belong there. I love it!! I wanna get better at talking, I want to learn the Scriptures more in depth. I want to improve so that I may better deliver the word of God to the ears of hungry listeners.

I got something in the mail. Yes, that is right, I got a mug from Tysabri. Now I had to sit back and laugh just a little bit when I opened the box up that this thing came in. I laughed for a couple of reasons. First off, it has been nearly two years since I started on the drug TYSABRI to treat my Multiple Sclerosis. It has changed everything. I have had no symptom since I started it. The fact of the matter is this though. Since I started it back in March of 2008, my dads health insurance has shelled out nearly $154,ooo.oo (low estimate) to Biogen Idec (huge pharma company). And they sent me a mug. A mug from China that probably cost more to send then to purchase. I am not complaining, I am just taking humor in the way things work. Even the coffee mug has a warning on it. It even had tons of paperwork telling how dangerous the medication is. Don't they know I get it??? I don't need all these reminders. Ohh well. I am gonna wrap this up, because tomorrow at Young Life I am giving the "SIN" talk at club. It is exciting that I have the opportunity to share such an important message. Thanks for reading. LATER!

gentlemen at BSF. We had some good conversation. I really love BSF.

-Grace&Peace

Halloween '09

The day started off with some lame homework time. And no, I am not naked, it is just a strange angle I suppose. I had a whole lot of reading and writing to do, in preparation for my next Religion & Culture class. When the time came near though, I went out to see my best friend Jared. To celebrate his B-Day. He is not 23 until tomorrow, but today was the day chosen to celebrate it.

There is the Birth Day boy!It was a really big bon fire, and lemme tell you. Those things get HOTT! After I stayed and hung out for a bit, I had the opportunity to go to a costume party thrown by my friend Ben. It was a bunch of people from Campus Crusades. It was super fun. So much dancing, and most of the time I got my "crazy" on. It was very difficult though. I saw several couples dancing and enjoying each other. And, well, while I danced amidst the ladies. . . . I wanted my lady. It made me miss her fiercely. It sucks. Being so far away is the hardest thing I have ever done relationally. For Janice, I would do it again in a heart beat. I can tell you that the only thing that makes it not suck so bad, is the fact that I know I have one amazing woman waiting for me in California. Only 49 more days to go!!! Some of my favorite times at a party are when things calm down enough for some really good conversation among friends to take place. I live for those moments. I want my Janice though. 49 more days, 49 more days, 49 more days. . . . . .

leaves, video, lamda lamda lamda

The lamda, lamda, lamda has nothing to do with my day today. BUT, the leaves and video most definitely do. I went to Geology class, and then I ended up going to Kelly Chevrolet to get an oil change for the Camry. . . my new car. That is still strange for me to say. It is a nice car compared to what I am use to driving. Kelly Chevy has a good oil change for exactly $14.95, it is a really good deal.

After doing some of this and very little of that. I went to Snider and hung out with kids as they left the school. Then, I went over to Austin's house and we started raking leaves. . . in the rain, but we got um done. Skyler ended up coming over pretty quick, and the job went a lot faster.

Also, there was some really great conversation. I love me some good conversation.

After the raking was done, well we went to go to some filming all over Fort Wayne. It was amazing.

I took this picture when we were on a bus, filming part of the video we were making. We had a lot of fun. Yes we did. It was a good day today. I miss Janice like crazy. 50 days until I get to see her. 50 days can not come soon enough. I love that girl. I do indeed.

trusting

I am trying to listen, I know I don't allow things to be simple. I can only do what I know though. Right? Should I ignore what I know? Should trust happen on Earth even when it makes no sense? If you have nothing to lose, but the posibility of gaining something, why wouldn't you want to try. What is trust? The Oxford Dictionary defines it as such. . . "1.) a firm belief in the reliability of a person or thing. 2.) the state of being relied on. 3.) a thing or person committed to one's care." Okay, so if by definition you are deciding to trust someone, is it really trust if you only trust partially? If you trust only when it is comfortable, is that really trust?? Maybe it is better to express that you don't trust, than to trust only partially. These are of course my ramblings at early stage. I will put some more thoughts into it.

-Grace&Peace

Costume craziness

Hey Hey Hey!!!

So chickety check this out. At Young Life tonight, we had a good'ole costume party. Now, I do not want to disappoint you, so I am going to start off the first picture with ME of course.

Now I like this picture of me for several reasons. First, the flowers in the lower left hand corner are a nice touch. Secondly the back ground picture is stunning. And just the presence of my posture is amazing. The one thing that I don't like about the picture is that it does not do justice to my hair.My hair did look similar to this, but this was not the final product. It had so much gell in it. Like unstable amounts of gell. It was really good though. I had so much fun, I know the kids sure did. It was just a really good time. You have to believe me when I tell you that the atmosphere at CLUB is just so extremely inviting and real. There is nothing fake about how club is presented, and there is especially nothing fake about the people who go to it, kids or leaders. And that is just a really cool thing to be able to say. There were great costumes, but even better fellowship. Kids just linger behind, and that just allows me to believe we are in a place that is really healthy. A safe environment where kids feel comfortable, and most importantly the message of Christ and everything he offers is presented in an understandable fashion. I love everything about it.

Ya know what else I love? Janice Hernandez. I did something really neat for her at work this morning. . . but I can't tell what that is. ;o) I'll know if she read this post if I get a text message asking me what I did tomorrow.

Night ya'll!

car took a crap

My car took a crap on me today. No, it did not literally defecate on me, but it might as well have. The clutch is done, and the right front wheel is doing something very not good. So, I did make it to Bible study (BSF) in 2nd gear, and I then I made it home. I do not think it is moving anywhere after that. This is the part that get's me.

immediately my dad starts thinking of what "we" are gonna do about it; he knows about all the responsibilities I have. This is how awesome my parents are. My dad says to me, "Well, I guess it makes sense that we start looking for a new car for your mom, then we will just give you the Camry." I tell him that it makes me feel really low that I am so completely reliant on him at 22 years of age. He just sort of paused for a moment, then looked at me and said, "Wouldn't you do it for your kid?" I guess I would. I guess I should just graciously accept the gift that my parents keep on giving me. God put me in their lives for a reason. Literally he did. I'm going to continue not stressing, and just keep doing what has to be done.

~~Thank you Father for my parents. I am so grateful that you have placed them in my life. God I trust in you, and know that everything happens for a very specific reason. God increase my faith, I am tired of trying to lean on my own understanding. I want to wildly trust in you. Thank you for your message today, forgive me for falling short. Help me to keep my eyes on you in everything I do. Be with Janice, comfort her, and help her to stay on track with everything she needs to accomplish. You are my everything, and I worship you. I ask and pray all these things in your Son's Holy and precious name. AMEN.~~

needles

So, after I got home from church. I had my dad look at my car. I believe the clutch or transmission, and possibly some bar holding or directing the right front tire is not good. . . my car needs some love. Not gonna stress out about it, just gonna trust God with it. Because ultimately, no matter how much I do not want to be reliant on my parents, well I still am. So, things will work out. After he "scoped" the car, I went inside to get started on my BSF, and then he just vanished. I saw him go out back, but didn't know what for. When I finished, he was on the roof with a big broom sweeping of pine needles. I asked him, "Do you feel safe up there?" To which he replied, "NO." I said to him, "Well, why don't you come down and then I will go get changed; we can switch places." Then he corrected me and said, "Why don't you go get changed and then once you are back out here I will come down." That is what I did, and I finished the job for him. I also cleaned the sky lights. Roof and sky light windows are looking real good.

Then I made a little something for Janice. Check it out.

3 hours of Spanish then some hockey

I went to the computer lab at school today, and studied Spanish for 3 straight hours. Nothing but online homework, flash cards, and reading. It was not fun, but I could tell I was learning. I swear I could feel my brain enlarging. . . I swear I could. Then, around 7 I picked up Austin and Skyler. We went out to a Snider hockey game. It was pretty fun, mostly because we made it fun. Then we went to a cemetery. It was on the way home, and we were trying to see if we could "spook" ourselves. Well, I scared the crud out of Austin, so I would say it was a successful mission. ;-) It was a good day.

cookies and the CLUB

Okay, so as soon as Snider got out of school, I picked up my buddy Austin. We went back to my parents house and started making COOKIES! Yes, we made massive amounts of chocolate chip cookies.

We had a lot of fun. I mean, seriously I didn't even plan on having that much fun, but it just happened naturally. Once we had almost completed the cookie dough mix, Skyler (Austin's friend) showed up. He sort of got lost on his way over. But, he arrived and all was well. Yes, many many cookies. Our plan was to take them to the football game, and pass them out. And that is exactly what we did. The kids loved them. AND, I got to meet another hand full of new kids. It is good to familiarize my face with something consistent at Snider. It is really good stuff.

The night ended with me feeling again, that I was supposed to go to the biggest CLUB in Fort Wayne, and read the word of God. So, I went there. And I got really scared. I sat in my car and prayed and tried to figure out what I was doing. Finally, I said, "I know you want me here God, help me." I started walking around the club, praying and asking what I was to do. Finally, my friend Matt showed up, and sort of took me under his wing. It was amazing, and I realized then that I was not supposed to stand there and read the word to people. Rather, I was to be there for them and talk with them. I would start out the conversation for example saying, "excuse me, can I ask you a question?" "If you died tonight, do you know where your salvation lies?" It was amazing what it lead to. Really amazing. People need something. And darn it, they will find it.

it's nothing, really. . .

This is the spot I go to at Snider on Tuesday or Thursday mornings. Sometimes both. I got and hold the doors for the kids as they walk into school. Me and another leader named Ben. I love going with him, and I love even more to interact with him. I know God has me in this position with Young Life. I love what He is doing with and through me. When I say "position" I mean Student Staff. That is my official title with Young Life. There comes frustration with that position though. But. . . . . the issue with that all comes down to trust. It really does, and I have to deal with that. . . . . Okay, moving on now. The TREE's! Indiana is so beautiful this time of year. I mean, I can literally stare at a maple or any other beautiful tree for extended periods of time. Just staring and staring at their beauty. I was walking on campus today. I saw a fellow university student holding a rather large maple leaf in her hand. It was golden orange. She was just standing perfectly still staring closely at the lines in the leaf. I smiled at her and said, "the beauty kind of get's you huh?" She just kind of smiled and nodded at me as I walked past.

I am just going to try to go to bed after HOUSE. I really hope I can sleep well tonight. I have been working out at the YMCA a lot lately. It is not working. I have so many thoughts going through my head at night, I think that is what is keeping me up. I sure hope it is not the M/S. That is a silly thought though. That would mean I would actually have something serious to fret about.

tickets & talk

Today I bought my tickets to go out to see Janice in California for Christmas and New Years. It is going to be an amazing experience, one that I am going to have to be very careful about. But, I am so excited.

My mom and I talked this evening about it. We talked about the topics that are going to be very difficult for Janice and I. We talked about how purity is going to have to be essential, something that Janice and I are completely aware of, BUT, my mom and I talked about the specific things that must happen and not happen. In order for me to fully respect Janice and Christ in our relationship. I must make some big decisions, even if it may seem a little bit "overdone." I am going to have to be dedicated to doing whatever it takes to do what is best for our relationship. And that is that. Time to put my actions where my heart is (similar to putting money where mouth is). I want to glorify Christ in everything that I do. ESPECIALLY in my relationship with Janice.