My life, My journey

Ohh it is official, I am getting married!

2011-03-23T14:07:00.001-07:00

Hilary & Mikey / Save the Date from Thread & Film on Vimeo.

2011-02-09T13:39:00.001-08:00

Mustache CONTEST!!

2010-12-16T13:28:00.001-08:00

I'm trying to win a mustache contest for one of my Young Life kids. The prize is a snowboard, I wanna win this thing for my YL kid so bad. If you wanna vote for my picture, log into FaceBook and vote for my mustache!!!

Log into Get Wet's FACEBOOK PAGE and click (LIKE) on my mustache picture. Here is their link

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Get-Wet-Boardshop/153721484654556

2010-05-31T22:58:00.001-07:00

SWELL

-Grace&Peace

last club

2010-05-26T19:31:00.001-07:00

Tonight was our last YL club. We had over 1,300 water baloons. Just imagine how amazing it was! I can't wait to take these kids to camp.

-Grace&Peace

A wall and some rain

2010-05-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

You see that wall? I built that wall. Not the base of it, and a couple of the columns, but the majority of it I placed with my hands. Carefully setting each block one by one. I couldn't tell you how many bricks, stones, and river rock I personally moved over the weekend. It would be in the TON'S though. Seriously, that much. I was working at my bosses house. So many of his neighbors stopped by to say how good everything looked. It made me feel good. Today was the last official BSF meeting. Next week will be "share" week. Or something like that. I am looking forward to it for sure. BSF has been so good for me. To be in the Bible daily is such a good thing. I totally understand how it must be a daily discipline for any Christian. No if's ands or butt's to it. It is a life changing decision.

I love the Lord my God with all my strength, soul, and mind. BAM BABY! Bed time.

I have a right to be tired today.

2010-05-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

I worked my butt off today. Not literally, because I still have a but (not much of one though). It was good though. I went into work today at 8:00AM, and didn't plan on working till much past noon or 1. I ended up working way past that time. lol, which is good because I can help out with bills and what not. I'm just saying. . . . it was a lot of work.

When I got home though, I had a little surprise waiting for me on FaceBook. . . it sort of blew my mind. So get this. Like 7 years ago, back when I was 16 years old, I went on this missions trip to Saltillo Mexico with my Youth Group. And my Youth Pastor told us not to fall in love with anyone. . . . well, I did not listen. lol, I fell in love with a local girl named Nohemi. Some drama happened, and I ended up kissing her. In reality it was all pretty innocent, but I was heart broken to leave her under those conditions. YEARS AND YEARS GO BY. I never really completely forgot about her. Definately didn't stay in love with her, but always wondered about her. BAM, today, she found me on FaceBook and wrote me a message. I was blown away. Pretty cool though. WAY TO GO TECHNOLOGY!!

going to bed. . . . working in the morning. . . . tis a good thing though. . .

marvelous day for real

2010-05-14T20:21:00.001-07:00

update is coming. . . . .

post # 1,111

2010-05-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every mans life when he posts his 1,111 BLOG post. Right? Okay, maybe not. But, This is my 1,111th post. That is a whole lot. Dang. It seems like only yesterday when I was posting about parties and chillen with Chris. Wow how life has changed since October of 2006. I went out to dinner, excuse me, my parents took me out to dinner tonight. It was a good time. Now, they are not smiling in this picture, but they smiled most of the evening. I love my mom and dad. They are the reason I am who I am. I can say that with pride too. The the bad kind of pride, but the good kind of pride.

Today, it was really wet at work. Man, we have been getting a lot of rain lately. Spreading mulch in the rain gets really messy too, let me tell you.

G'Night ya'll

productive Tuesday

2010-05-11T20:02:00.001-07:00

Today I got off work early because of the rain. I felt I proved myself by taking a little inituitive and fixing an irrigation leak. I knew how because of my internship @ Lost Canyon last summer. So. . . . I got a lot done today. I hung out with a two kids & was just productive. The day ended with me having a really difficult talk with someone who I didn't want to have it with. Sometimes being a leader sucks. BUT, God gives strength where we don't see it, and he is soo good.

p.s. Please say a prayer for a man named Mel. He is having some scarry health issues and it is impacting his family especially hard.

-Grace&Peace

tilling anyone?

2010-05-10T18:57:00.001-07:00

Today I worked with Larry. It was just me and Larry (that is him in the back of the picture), and we got a lot done. I did a whole lot of tilling, I noticed that while I tilled, I prayed and thought a lot. I liked that a lot. Larry is a good old guy. I enjoy him and super love it when he talks about his grandchildren. Also, he kept stroking my ego by telling me he wouldn't work with anyone else but me. It was a good day. long day, but a good day. It ended with me going to BSF, which is almost over!! My friend and fellow YL leader came to the start up class. I'm super excited to go through it with him next year.

G'Night

-Grace&Peace

:o)

2010-05-06T21:50:00.001-07:00

This is really something. So, if you remember my friend Brooks (if you don't, look at my 10/1/09,2/8/10 posts) , you will probably remember his wife. Her name is Mi Mi (not her actual name, and that's not her actual hair). They are both Liberian refugees out of Africa. They have 5 beautiful children. 3 little girls, and 2 boys (elementary). I love this family. God has placed me in their lives to help and do what I can for them. It is so cool because Mi Mi has never really opened up to me before. Well, today, she opened up big time. I was over at their apartment helping to hook up a computer, and this thing called Magic Jack (phone that works through your computer). After I got done hooking it up, Mi Mi and I started talking. She has so many stories. This woman is not only strong, she has wisdom that goes far beyond my comprehension. The atrocities this woman has seen is hard for me to even wrap my mind around. I am so blessed that she respects me enough to divulge all that information to. She told me things that I physically had my mouth open while I listened, literally. She spoke with passion, and I could tell she needed to get some things off her chest. I need to get her and Brooks out to eat dinner on their own. I wanna try and get them a gift card to somewhere like Applebee's and offer to babysit for them for an evening. I am very blessed by this couple. She said some things that blew me away, things I didn't really understand. Like how her grandmother is from the Liberian royal blood line. Yes, like the queen. Again, my mouth is just hanging open. But, she also told me many personal, extremely sad stories. She shared directly from her heart. Again, I was extremely blessed.

Ohhhh, check this out. While I was at Walgreen's picking up some things for Brooks computer, I got a phone call from my old boss Mark Nolot. He called me to see if I wanted a summer position back at Vision Scapes!! WHOOP WHOOP, I GOT A SUMMER JOB!

Bible study & cereal club

2010-05-05T19:02:00.001-07:00

Right after Snider got out of school, I went over and picked up the three amigos. It twas some solid time. We learned a great lesson. I think the lesson we learned was a bit of, "All for one, and one for all." When one is struggling, it should never be internalized and kept out of the light. We have to bring forward these "issues" so that they can be dealt with. It is so good when things are dealt with. God heals the deepest of issues. Today was also our second to last CLUB. Simply put, "CEREAL CLUB!" It was so awesome, a whole bunch of high school kids, and like 15'ish boxes of cereal. Dig in, mix and match different types to find your favorite combination. It was so much fun!

I love the CLUB atmosphere because it provides a super safe place for the kids to hang out and just be themselves. It is a place for kids to experience Christ. The awesome thing is this, most of the time, they don't even know that they are experiencing Christ. They love the way they feel, they love being able to do things they don't get to do any place else, but they don't even know it is Christ that is providing them the peace they so desire. Ryan gave the talk tonight, and he incorporated some guitar playing into the message. It was truly amazing to see God's hand doing so many different things in so many different kids. I'm not kidding, God is powerful, I want to submit to him more and more. In my life, I ask, What can possibly be more important than spreading His love?

joyful noise

2010-05-03T20:58:00.001-07:00

Honestly, I should totally be studying right now. I have my final in COM 318 in 1.5 hours, but this is really important to me. Last night, Bryson and I hung out at this dudes house. The dude was Christ Lee. And it was a RESPONSE session at his house. Blew my socks off. It was a powerful time of worship with people from all different walks of life.

While I was worshiping, God just put it on my heart to do a little journal time. So, mid-worship, I grabbed my journal and went to my knees and started to write. This is what I came up with.

"When confronted by the presence of the Holy Spirit, I see joy. Dancing comes naturally. There is no age limit. There are no boundaries, there is only love. Doubt does not reign here in this place. Grace comes through the veins of strings and vocals seeking only to make a joyful noise and usher in a satisfaction that only God Almighty himself can bring. This is where I want to live. This is where I want to build my home. I belong here, I am satisfied. This joy, this worship, finds parts of me I've not uncovered before. God brought me here. At last, I know what it means to have Heaven on Earth. Thank you Father! There is no understanding or comprehension to worship. It stems from a deep place, a place that man sometimes appreciates, but God always smiles at. A completely proud and beautiful smile, like when a father smiles at his new born baby for the first time. It brings joy and untainted discovery of the true being of Christ and His majesty. Warmth in a cold world."

That is what I have to say. Wait, one more thing. I PASSED SPANISH!!! I passed with at least a C, but maybe a B-. Just depends on the outcome of the FINAL. I was so excited about that.

running anyone?

2010-05-02T19:39:00.001-07:00

Okay, so check this out. Today, my day was jam packed. It was seriously non-stop till like 10'ish. I started out at this church called Envision Life Center. I really needed to go to this church for many reasons. I will say some of those reasons, but won't really go into explanation about the "why's" because this it's my party, and I can cry if I want to.

I went to Envision because I needed to let go of my pride. I needed to experience what I had heart so much about, and what I had created such strong feelings about without actually being a part of. So, I went. The message was amazing. I took a whole page of notes about it, and it was truly amazing. The worship was a little over the top for my personal taste, but I can see how people could really dig that. It was like a Christian rock concert. :-) Twas a good thing for me to experience. Changed a lot.

After that. . . . .

I went to school where they were doing this thing called the Mastodon Stomp. Young Life used it as a fund raiser to help kids make money for camp. It went so good. In the picture above, you can see we were doing our stretch thing. I made sure the kids worked out their butt muscles, and yes, I did show them how to stretch that out. I demonstrated in front of the giant circle. There was a lot of people there. I walked for 2 miles, and that was enough for me. It was 3 miles for the competitors, but I was just supporting the kids. Very cool to see all those kids out there trying to raise money for camp. SUPER AWESOME FOR A LEADER TO SEE THAT MUCH INTEREST BY HIGH SCHOOL KIDS!!!

At 3:00 I peaced out to go meet up with this girl named Lynn Altevogt. If you search this blog for Lynn, back in 2008 I went with Josh to Chipotle and talked about her. lol. It is crazy how life comes back at ya. Well, anyways, God put Lynn on my heart to help out with something BIG that he is using me in. BIG! It is a huge worship thing. BIG BIG BIG

Then me and the "front line" Young Life leaders went to Chipotle, and took the food back to someones house and we all had dinner. I got the chance to lead this meeting, and it was great. I got the chance to lift everyone up individually and God really used that. I love boosting people up in faith. Like I am a part of such an amazing ministry team. God is good. SO SO SO GOOD!

it got brought!!

2010-05-01T21:21:00.000-07:00

Wow, today was SOOO GOOD!! I mean seriously, when I don't think God is or can bring it anymore, I get my face blown off like WOOOOOWWWWWW! That happened, times ten today. Lemme start from the beginning. We had another fundraiser for Young Life kids to get them to camp. We mulched another house, and we mulched it real good. I love high school kids. I love watching God do things in their lives when they don't even recognize it. There is some kind of hidden and beautiful power in that. I get secret enjoyment by watching that little flame grown in them. It does something for me that words can't explain. So check it. . .

Those kids worked so hard, one of the Young Life leaders was like, "Hey, you guys worked so hard, i'm gonna take you out to eat at B'Dubs." And so off we went.

Okay, next thing. So I went home, spent some time with father and little doggy. Then off to a church. This church was kinda far away, I went to meet up with my friend Kyle, who plays on the worship team. It was a mellow service. But God was there. Then I went to go and experience my Saviour at this worship thing called RESPONSE. It was amazing. Totally amazing. Check this out.
> See that dude to the left? That is Chris Lee. Chris Lee loves the Lord a whole lot. He loves the Lord and knows how to show it. He is overflowing with the Grace God has lavished upon us all. Chris is just passionate because he has fully submersed himself in the Love of Christ. WOW! WOW! WOW! Tonight I experienced things in this worship time that blew me away. There was prophesying, there were tears/sobbing of joy, there was jumping, screaming, dancing, arm raising, and more tears of joy. There was heart felt songs of praise and worship coming from God's children. It was powerful. IT WAS CHRIST!!! It renewed something in me. Something I needed. Not something I lost, but something I needed a reminder of. Man I love the Lord. After the worship time, I went off to hang with some other friends. God gave me new eyes. I started seeing them the way Christ sees them. I started to see the honest, heart felt, expressions of LOVE that Christ expresses through all of us when we truly seek him. BUT, sometimes we cannot, or will not see it in others unless Christ has tuned our awareness a certain way. Well, I think he had me dialed in, because I kept feeling prompted to tell people what I saw. Maybe I was the crazy white boy, but maybe I was a gift from Christ that they needed.

AMEN TO THIS DAY, AMEN TO MY LORD!!

LONG TIME NO POST!!

2010-04-30T14:51:00.000-07:00

Life has been uber busy, what with end of the semester and trying to get Young Life kids set up for camp. Speaking of getting Young Life kids to camp; last weekend we did this really great fundraiser, we mulched a committee members house. Dang we got super dirty.

And I have been so busy too. Dang, it seems like I am so jammed packed, I sometimes don't have time to think. Bible study, Young Life, school, finding a new church, trying to do right. Dang, life has been really real and in my face. My parents are still struggling finicially because of me, and that sucks. I am trusting in God, and I know it is going to be what he needs it to be. But, ya know, that's there.

I am loving my Lord though. I never get too busy for that. My time with God becomes more and more sincere each time I really get into it. I have been trying to really concentrate on me and God. It gets so hard sometimes though. I wanna just focus on Him and no one else. It can sometimes get really difficult though when there are sooo many distractions though. Not that any of the distractions are getting in the way of God, BUT, they can sometimes consume my 'me' time. I am pumped though. God's grace never ceases to amaze me. I take my last final on the 6th, I will be able to keep up on this here BLOG. It was nice though, to take a little break. I missed it though.

Sometimes growing means failing and starting from the basics. I can get so full of myself, that it causes me to lose focus on Abba. I hate losing focus on Abba. But, grace, GRACE is a beautiful thing. Something that all Christians need to at least try to keep in the forefront of their minds. It brings a smile to my soul. It brings peace to a heart that feels as if it sometimes is not enough. Grace is good. God is Grace.

This is me right now. I am hairy and messy lookin, well cuz i'm broke. (big sigh) I got another ticket, on campus, for not coming to a complete stop. It was real difficult for me. It is going to mess a bunch of stuff up (car insurance, ma$$ive fines, and other stuff), but that is the way it happened. I am just trying to still trust God in it all. It is what it is though. JUST STOP AT THE STOP SIGNS MIKEY!!!! lol, some people gotta learn the hard way. And, well, some people have to just keep movin on, even when life isn't fair. I am staying strong though, God is keeping me strong. God = LOVE!

The deed is done

2010-04-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, alrighty then. So, as you can see above, I have sucessfully linked up Twitter with my BLOG. This means that now I can just post all my "tweets" directly to my BLOG. This is awesome because my BLOG has now evolved into a real time sort of electronic journal. You gotta love technology. It is like my BLOG just went from a AAA battery (off brand). . .
To this amazing massive and beautifully amazing and hugely awesome battery shown above. K? That is what just happened to my BLOG. UPGRADETASTIC! And it is all due to my cousins husband Drew. I don't have a problem admitting it drew, you were right, I should have done it a while ago. ;-)

Twitter is coming to my BLOG

2010-04-19T19:27:00.001-07:00

ha ha ha ha, he he he

Soon enough Twitter is coming. I can't wait to be able to update in a way that is quick and efficient. Life has been so fulfilling lately. God, indeed, is doing something HUGE. I am simply amazed at how He is choosing to use me.

I have papers due soon. lol, I have lots of Young Life work to be done for kids and preparing them to go to camp. It is going to be an interesting next couple of months. I wish I could just press the fast forward button, but I am going to try to savor the moment.

reaching kids

2010-04-18T19:54:00.001-07:00

I need to link up TWITTER to this BLOG, that is all there is to it. Ryan & I went to a Jehova's Witness church just to show a kids G'Ma that we care about her grandson. It did something really awesome to Grandma, but if all we did was show this kid that we care that much, then it was all worth while. :~) And that is that.

I need to post on this thing

2010-04-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, so even though I may not have hinted to the fact of stress/business, the fact of the matter is it has been 'upon' me. Why I sometimes put (' ') on words for emphasis, I do not know. But, the fact of the matter is that from Friday right on towards Tuesday at 1:30, I had been so extremely busy with school, school, school, Young Life, Young Life, Young Life, Young Life Conference, Young Life Conference, school (stressful partner), and so on, that I have just been running on almost depleted mode. Like and I understand that this is not abnormal, but when it sneaks up on you and you don't even realize it. Well, it sort of takes you by surprise. That is what happened. It happened when I walked out of childcare this morning. I just had to call my mom and say to her, "Mom, I feel strange. I feel like I should be doing more. I dunno, it's like I am feeling guilty, maybe like I should be doing more for God or something??" My mother in all her wisdom, pointed out exactly what was going on. She is such a good thing to have in my life. Truly a blessing. I love my mom.

So much is going on in my life. It is totally awesome. I really wish I could link up this new TWITTER thing with my BLOG. I can post pictures and all kinds of stuff on it. It is tight because it is quick and keeps everything up to date. It better reminds me of what exactly I am doing, going through, thinking about, and learning. Twitter is the way to go. Seriously, look me up on there. Chillerguy111 is my screen name. I'll get on it though. You just wait and see.

Life is so good though. God is doing some big big things. I'm loving it. Big time, seriously.

Okay, time to go to The Circle.

ohhh man

2010-04-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

Today was crazy. In all honesty, from 5:15am until now, like 10:30pm I have been straight BUSY. Not a minute to chill. Such an intense day. I got a huge project in. I did so much today.

And I got signed up for a twitter account. FOLLOW ME, if you choose to. Follow me by my twitter account name which is chillerguy111

passion & authority. . . lol

2010-04-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

This is so true (lol). I wonder how many hours I have logged blogging. Ohh, and by the way I made it back from Chi-town. It was so good.
> > > > > > > >

Yes, I am back to Fort Wayne. The weekend was really good. I am excited to finish up this semester now. It is going to be crunch time and I am gonna make it work. HERE WE GO NEXT 4.5 WEEKS!!!!

chi-town (3)

2010-04-10T21:41:00.001-07:00

This was my first year to Chicago for our yearly Student Staff Conference. Ohh it was extremely good. The picture above was taken from Navy Pier. It was such a beautiful day today. I mean amazingly beautiful. The weather, temperature, and people were so extremely perfect. What a day/weekend it was.
Yep, the three amigos (Ryan, Me, & Ben) had a real good time this weekend, learning how to be more effective leaders within Young Life. We were having amazing fellowship with like minded individuals. It was an extremely good weekend. Ohh, and the legit Chicago pizza. . . it was amazing. Sooo amazing. God is good people. He blesses and he loves. I love pizza.

I'm STUMBLING

2010-04-08T23:03:00.001-07:00

Ha ha ha, todays title is funny only to me. I get the inside joke. You might notice there is a little circular symbol at the end of every single BLOG post now. Well, this is not some strange happening. This was a very strategic decision on my part. Ya see, today I found a wonderful tool. A tool that is helping me to discover the true power of the internet. It is an amazing service you can find at stumbleupon.com It is truly amazing. I can't even begin to explain it. Truly it has changed the internet for me. Go to the site, download the tool bar. And begin to be amazed. Here are just some examples of the awesomeness.

http://studenthome.nku.edu/~russelljo/flash/dudefalling.swf
http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/flash/cntower_timelapse.swf
http://www.subtlebody-images.com/moving/mandalas.html
http://www.you.uz/2009/11/airbus-a380-5-star-hotel-on-wings.html

There are so many more, and I had a truly amazing day today. TOMORROW I LEAVE WITH 2 OTHER YL LEADERS FOR A YL CONFERENCE IN CHICAGO!! WHOOP WHOOP

p.s. late update. . . It is 3:58AM and I am still stumbling, holy crap. I'm going to bed!

good food and friends

2010-04-07T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today was good. The weather was not as fire as yesterday. BUT, no matter. This day, I got the chance to hang with my buddy Kyle. It was a really fun experience. We worked out and I almost threw up. And then at 6:00 I went to Ryans house. We got together with our friend Alex and made a killer dinner. Well, Alex made the dinner. He is a pro chef, and knows how to get it DONE. Isn't that a tiiiggghhht picture? That is alex there cooking it up. You might ask yourself who were you cooking for? For our new friends!!! Dani is to the left and Destinie is to the right. Zack is not in the picture, but he was there also. I love these guys. And Destinie may very well be our first Black Young Life leader here in Fort Wayne. I'm excited!

Ta Ta

2010-04-06T22:19:00.000-07:00

Holy SNAP the weather was amazingly good today. I mean it was like 80 with sun and warm wind and goodness I just didn't want it to end. It was so perfect outside today. I found myself on campus just walking around to walk around. It was truly amazing. I LOVE GOOD WEATHER! I love looking up into the sky and just thinking about how amazing God is. It is a little more difficult when it is cold and no sun, BUT, you can still see Him if you have the right eyes to see with.

8See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

Colossians 2:9-15 (speaks for itself)

9. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10. and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. 11. In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, 12. having been buried with him in baptism and raised with him through your faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead.

13. When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14. having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. 15. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

I played Basketball tonight after Campus Crusades for Christ. It was amazing. I suck at basketball though. I had a lot of fun. I need sleep now though. Ta Ta readers!

camp, video, tired

2010-04-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

So I finally finished up on this video project I have been working on the the past two and a half weeks. It has been long hours in a computer lab doing editing, and this and that. BUT, I believe all my work has finally paid off. And, without my partners help I would like to add. It is sad I got stuck with the 'dud' of a partner. There was a lot of STICKY issues involved, but to say the least, I still have gotten stuck with all the work. And doing all the work is tough. All is well though. So right now with Young Life we are bustin to get kids signed up for camp. This year we are taking our kids to a camp in Detroit Lakes, MN. called Castaway Club. I am so excited for this summer. It is truly going to be an amazing opportunity for our kids. The awesome news is that to start out with we were only allowed to take 70 kids + leaders. But, because so many have been signing up so fast, we are now allowed to take 85 kids + leaders. I am so excited to see what God is going to do with all this.

God is good. I am tired. ohhh, one more thing. There is this girl. Her name is Laura Wight. I so want her to go to camp this summer. I know she has like a family thingy to go to this summer. But, dang what an amazing opportunity this summer would be for her. She could come out on top as a leader, but also be fed in ways that would stretch and grow her to new heights. What an amazing opportunity.

If a certain mother would be interested in gaining information about this camp, she could call me @ 433-1543 p.s. prayers are with you for Bruce. God's hand is at work, even when life is confusing. Trust in his unfailing love in all ways. Proverbs 3:5-6 rocks in hard situations that seem so confusing.

Easter is a fine day

2010-04-04T11:48:00.000-07:00

BAPTISM

Today started off with me going to church where I had the amazing opportunity to Baptize one of my Young Life guys. I have had the amazing opportunity to be with this guy for over a year, hanging out, studying the Bible, and just growing together. And today, I was amazed to be able to dunk him under the water. What a great and glorious God I serve!

EASTER

What a great Easter I had too. I got together at Ben's house. There was probably about 20'ish college aged people there. There was tons of awesome food. And, it was so totally fun. We ate good, then towards the evening, we had a killer worship time. Goodness I had an awesome time. Then, towards the end some friends from The Circle showed up. It was awesome because our worship time really blessed them. There was a lot of blessings.

Windows 7

2010-04-03T21:45:00.001-07:00

The other day I went golfing with this guy, Jonathon. It was real fun, although some jerks tried to ruin our time. I did the right thing, and instead of getting on their level of physical aggression & cursing I simply turned them into the pro shop and we got 2 rounds of 18 holes/w a cart for free. It was rad. It was fun & Dale & I had a good time.

Today, Saturday, I was lazy. I got a lot of couch time, installed Windows 7 on my laptop, and ate like it was my last day on earth. I seriously could go without eating the rest of the month & be okay. The night ended with me playing video games @ Nicky's house. We ended up getting into a really awesome God talk. It was sweet. God is good.

Life is so good. God is doing some amazing stuff.

2010-04-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

It is late and I get to sleep in tomorrow. I am going to go to bed. Maybe I will upload pictures and fill this here BLOG in on what is up. But not right now.

last supper

2010-03-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

At campus crusades we re-created the last supper. It was pretty cool. It was long, but Tuesdays are real long anyways so it's all good. I'm trying real hard to love people right where they're at. yup yup.

My notes from BSF, right out of my note pad

2010-03-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

Oneness In Christ

John 17:6-26

These verses, especially when Jesus prays for us, his believers; shows how amazingly much God cares for us (his believers/followers).

[Why has God valued me @ such a high price?]

- This is one of the mysteries of God's grace

vs. 16-19 He isn't taking us out of the world, because the only way we grow is when our faith increases. In reality, this doesn't happen during "easy times."

What am I willing to give up for those God has given me to impact for Christ? He gave up his only son. Really, what am I willing to give up?

AP (Application Principle) Christ's disciples are one in Christ, and set apart for his purpose and glory revealing his truth that which was given by the father for us.

?AQ? (Application Question) How does anyone know that I belong to Christ?

AP The truth of gospel & loving sacrifice are to be observable in Christ's disciples (me).

{Why can't we just get along??

Because the world hates believers

because they hated Christ first}

2010-03-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

All the glory belongs to you, all the glory belongs to you ohh God!

I love God. I love the 24/7 connection I have with Him. I love the way he loves me. I love the change he has created in me.

Today I did this and that. But I just felt God in a big way. Thats what's up.

Sweet jams today

2010-03-27T23:44:00.001-07:00

Awesome concert! Yes, a totally awesome concert. The local museum downtown had a re-grand opening after they did a ton of re-modeling and what not. They also had a bunch of local bands play. In the picture above, you can see a cartoon with a talk bubble. In that talk bubble it says, "These guys make me want to make up dance moves -the white guy" This was submitted by me via text message. Anyone could send in their messages to a whole bunch of random pictures. It was a form of art I suppose, so it was fitting. . . . The music was good, but hanging with my friends was even better. After the show I went over to my friend Kayla's apartment and watched a movie with some peeps. It was also good. Good Good day today. Except for the start of it. I worked on a "GROUP PROJECT" for like 4.5 hours by myself. She (my group member) has not really done anything. I have so much video editing to do. . . . and no partner to help me with anything, because she just doesn't show up. She has really good excuses though.

D&B

2010-03-26T23:13:00.001-07:00

Today I went to Dave & Busters in Indianapolis. I went with The Circle (Thursday night Christian group that gets together downtown). Ohh goodness it was so much fun. We met up with The Circle from Indy and played rockband for a while, then we all went over to D&B. It was totally fun & awesome.

Ohh goodness it was fun. I was the only white guy, but it didn't matter. Not for one second. I had a blast and am getting closer and closer with this group. Lovin it.

man of the hour

2010-03-25T22:12:00.001-07:00

To the man of the hour @ The Circle. Loving it! Yup Yup, this is Zach Briggs and he is the main leader of The Circle. It was his birthday today and man did we do it right. There was so much good food, "soul food" if you will. There was fried chicken, pizza, mashed potatoes, beans, and so much more. I love this group, and this group loves the Lord. And, to make it even better, he had a guest speaker. They call him Prophet Bird. Here is Prophet Bird. What a great man, and so insightful. I really was impacted by what he had to share. This week the topic was relationships.

I forgot to take in my journal, but I tried to take notes on my phone as best as I could. This is what I got.

Dating doesn't have to be a guessing game. We need to bring God into every moment of it. Seeking. We need to ask God who we should be dating.
Another sort of side note Prophet Bird gave was this. "If they aren't seeking you as much as you are them, run from it."

-to go along with that sort of. . . It is unChristian to lead someone on, but it is unChristian to let someone even fall in love you.

- P~Bird also talked about Psychological whores. This is someone who wants people to love them, who wants someone to be all emotionally into them. But, does it to sort of build their ego and things like that. This is very wrong. It is unhealthy.

It is never okay to break the kingdom rules in order to get what you want in a relationship. NEVER. I forget this all too often.

Prophet Bird was real. I mean very specifically real. He went into details about sexuality that most people wouldn't get close to. But he did it in a way that was so good for us to hear. Tonight was so awesome. Good stuff.

Study day for sure

2010-03-22T21:55:00.001-07:00

Dang, today I seriously put some 'extreme' time into my Spanish studies. Now in the basement of one of the buildings on campus there is a computer lab that is all MAC computers. It is usually locked and for some reason, students seem to think that means that it is off limits. When the reality of the situation is simply that no one has asked if they can utilize it. SO, I asked one of the computer lab consultants if he would unlock it for me, which he did. I then went into it and shut the door behind me. I had like 4 hours of this computer lab to myself. I got a lot done and it was grand.

I eventually went to Spanish class and took a QUIZ, and I think I did really good. Lets hope anyways. . . . As soon as class was over, I did NOT go to BSF. I had to finish writing an annotated bibliography for my COM-300 (Communication Research Methods) class. I did that, but it was a late and difficult night. All is well though, and God shining through all things.

:o)

you won't believe it...

2010-03-20T14:58:00.001-07:00

Here I am at school working on a Saturday evening, but i'm listening to Bon Iver and actually getting work accomplished. Not only am I getting work done, but i'm having fun doing it. . . . . . wait, fun & school work? Darn right. Self-fulfilling prophecy, or good music, or maybe even just being in a groove. Whatever the reason, it's happening and I like it!

walking dog

2010-03-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

took a dog for a walk today.

awesome club sweet hang out time

2010-03-17T21:53:00.001-07:00

Today was so good. Can't wait to tell about it. My God is an awesome God. :~)

I liked this so I wanted to share

2010-03-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize
it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

This makes so much sense to me. I really can related to this depiction of how God allows us to go through things not to make us suffer, but to prepare us for what we cannot see. For me it serves as a great reminder to keep my thoughts and heart in check during the difficult times.

ughhh

2010-03-15T21:03:00.001-07:00

There are things I want to talk about. But, I can't. I can however talk about my inability to help in certain situations. I will be very vague here. When I get close to someone, and I am helping them through some difficult times and they do a lot better for a long time, and then slip up, maybe even slip up bad. I don't handle it well. I actually tend to take it very personally. I don't know why I do this. I was right there in that "slip up" faze for years. I am really critical of people. Did it with my cousin, and I do it with some people I am close with now. I need to figure this out. And no, i'm not talking specifically about Janice, although it would work for her as well. Dang I feel hypocritical. After BSF, I went to hang out with Synda. I hadn't seen her in forever, and it was time to hang out. We had fun while she told me all her 'school blues.' I have to go to bed now though. Tomorrow I am filling in for a childcare position on the other side of Fort Wayne. There is a 1 hr delay though, so maybe it will be worth it. Who knows. I also have a test that I really need to study for. Grrrr. So much to do, so little time. But, the good news is God is so gracious. I feel Him everywhere. He makes life make sense even when it shouldn't. He has conquered everything, therefore I have no reason to fear. . . ANYTHING!

before & after

2010-03-14T20:46:00.000-07:00

So, I got my hair cut today. Along with my grizzley beard and what not. I am a clean cut dude, but I would say that there is more meaning behind a simple shave and cut than what meets the eyes.

So today I did in deed cut my hair. Check out what i'm about to say. Maybe you can find a 'connection.' I intentionally started to grow out my hair for good reasons, certainly not wrong reasons. But through time as it got longer and took more and more out of me, I grew tired of it. But, even though I was beginning to grow slightly weary of the hair, I still had grand ideas of what it could be. I thought the hair could make me happy. I thought the hair could fill a part of me that couldn't be filled by anything else. So, as I grew with the hair things would happen. I would wake up one day and find that it was all getting twined together. Mornings became more difficult because I now had to shampoo & condition, as well as use a comb at times. Things were not simple anymore. But, I still loved the hair and desired to have long sweet hair just like I did back in high school. I would catch glimpses of the reality of my hair, but just sort of turn my head away. I would see the issues that my hair was actually causing me, but instead of dealing with them right on the spot, I pretended like they weren't that big of a deal and moved on. After a while this took over. I could only look at the hair for the issues it had brought on me. Knowing deep down that the hair couldn't fix itself, I did what I knew I had to do. I had to cut the hair and start fresh. Even though I had come to a point a couple of months ago where I was about to cut my hair, I didn't really follow thorugh with all my heart. I just sort of half way went through what it was going to take to do such a thing. But now, now there is no turning back. I cut the hair, and things are much clearer. No turning back, in fact, it is time to move forward. And i'm okay with that, even though I still have feelings for my long hair, and in my heart desire long hair. It just wasn't worth the hardships it brought on. The hair could not fix itself. Something has to happen from within. I had to desire for the hair to be changed. Then I had to follow through with the act. I am at peace now.

p.s. I had an amazing campainers with the Young Life guys tonight. God is about to bring some serious healing. BAM!! It is so good to see these guys open up. God is good, even when I am an idiot or forget, God is right there to lovingly remind me and throw down some serious grace. GRACE IS GOOD! GRACE IS GOD!

2010-03-13T21:23:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful day, so full of butterflies and marsh mellows and happiness. So much life and radiance came from today. Just rip my face off and put it on a wall of happiness.

Todays mood is. . . . "Go the heck away March, you bring out the seasonal depression in me. I want sun and warmth."

an update finally

2010-03-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated since Tuesday. The main reason is that I have been hurt that Mr. Anonymous thinks that I make things up. This has really hurt me. I wouldn't ever, EVER put anything in this BLOG that I don't experience in real truth. That's just how it is. If you don't think that is true, then go the heck away and don't read about my life.

Today I did a lot of running around to do. I had a lot of 'things' to do for Nicky. I got him into something really really good. I can't go into specifics, but God is doing something amazingly good/awesome/radical. It is so cool that God allows me to see his glory at work first hand. Dang am I lucky.

But along with that gift God has given me to see his hand at work first hand comes a sort of weight. A responsibility that others may not experience. I have been sort of sad today, and the past several days. Maybe it is seasonal, maybe it is situational, I dunno. But, I do know that I have been down. I miss Janice, and my feelings for her are still there. Shoot, my love for her is still there. And with that I still know that the decision I made to break away from her was what I needed to do, there is just a lot of confusion and "eesh'ness" there and surrounding that situation.

I'm confused with where God has me. Like, with kids and the people he has in my life and mine in theirs I totally get. BUT, I suppose I struggle with some of the other things. I put so much stress on my parents, especially financially. That sucks, but I dunno. I am ready for the sun and warm to be out again.

The little ones do bring joy

2010-03-09T21:02:00.000-08:00

Ohh how I do entertain the little ones. Kids are so much fun to me. I love kids. Gonna have to get me some of my own some day. Ohh yes, fatherhood is something I do look forward to.

Bible Study & George

2010-03-08T20:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this first picture is of Zach, Austin, & Eli. I hold a Bible study for them on Monday's after school. It was so nice out today, we decided to have it outside at a park. It was still Jacket weather, but ohhh man they are crazy high schoolers. Right now we are going through Romans. Such a cool book. Such an amazing Bible! I love that these guys are so thirsty for it!

funny pic & learning

2010-03-07T19:34:00.001-08:00

Today was lazy. Goodness, I accidently slept in through church, but I got to hang out with my dad & watch a real good documentary about a tight rope walker. I also had an amazing YL leader meeting. I also learned a little more of what it means and looks like to love kids right where they're at. I love this business. This kid loving business. It's real good. P.S. this is a picture of fellow friend and Young Life leader Ben. We had campaigners @ his house tonight & I found this pic. of him.

2010-03-06T22:14:00.001-08:00

Today I super slept in. I was crazy tired from yesterday. BUT THEN, I get a text message from Austin (back right) asking if I wanted to go see "Save a Life." I didn't know what it was, but I was down. I told him 2 bring friendz if he wanted 2. So me & 3 h/s kids went & saw this movie. It was amazing. So fitting with what we (YL leaders) are trying to teach theese kids.

A journey of epic proportions

2010-03-05T18:23:00.001-08:00

I don't know if it was blurry because the movie was in 3D or some other reason. But, I suppose that doesn't matter. What matters is that I got to take Nicky to the I-Max in Noblesville. We saw Alice in Wonderland in I-Max 3D! It was so shibby! But what was even better was the drive home. It was so awesome, I am choosing not to talk about it. God is faithful and in control though. Man is he ever!! I don't know why I am constantly surprised, but am still am. God is so perfectly in control. The ways he orchestrates things so perfectly. I am so thankful he chooses to allow me to see his glory. Truly it amazes me every time. Thank you Abba father for the drive home, thank you for softening hearts and stretching us to new heights.

I really should be be sleeping

2010-03-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Right now it is 11:33P.M. and I just got home from THE CIRCLE!! Whoop Whoop. SO good, but I wanna start from the beginning.

This morning as I drove to class I think. It was so sunny!! Oh my goodness, it was so bright. I could feel the warmth from it while in my car. It was so amazing, I do not remember the last time I felt this.

What next, hummmm ohh I know. How about this amazing and sweet worship time I got to experience. I would say it was like an impromptu worship time. I had just finished an exam. I was walking to another building on campus. THEN, I was talking to a friend about another mutual friend we both dearly care for. After about 45 minutes of conversing, I had another friend come up to me and say, "Hey, you going to the worship time?" I was like, "HUH?" He explained it to me, and so I decided to go check it out. I went to go and check it out, not having any idea what to expect, but down for whatever. Well, it turned out to be an amazing time. The guy on the guitar's name is Chris Lee. He is a man who is very lead by the Spirit. This worship time in this small room was filled with prayer. I found myself face down on the floor worshiping the God I love more than anything else on this earth. There were times of just joyful sounds, times of words, and moans for God. It was amazing and completely lifted my spirit in a big way. I LOVE my Abba Father!!

~~WORTH READING~~

What happened next? Well, so many other things, but for the sake of time and sleep. I will share one. I went to Starbucks, and not just any Starbucks, a location I never go to but was told to choose. The person who told me to choose ended up canceling once I pulled in. I got a bad attitude at the last second and it turned out to be amazing. I pulled into the parking lot, and there was a guy trying to break into his truck. I stopped and started helping. I was directing, pulling the door open (cracking it). And, one thing lead to another. Well, again, long story short he had to pick up his daughter and didn't have time for AAA service to come help him. So, he bashed in the back window. It was a pick up truck, so it was one of those little tiny windows. I am watching this guy struggle something horrible. He was having a bad day. Then, he reaches through the bashed in window. And he couldn't reach the lock. He was so frustrated. And this guy was skinny. So, what happened? Well, he just calmly got out of the back of the truck. He felt foolish for bashing it in and not being able to reach it. He stopped and said, "Ya know what?" I'm gonna go buy you a coffee, and I am going to try to rethink this." I just said in my head, "No way, this is not going down like this." I hopped in the back of his truck, and forced myself through this tiny little window. I am actually very flexible, LOL. I GOT IT UNLOCKED! Hee Hee, I told him to go get his daughter and to have a good day. He looked at me with his jaw on the pavement. He was tired, frustrated, and cold. Now he could move on. He was so happy.

Did God bring me to that Starbucks to help that man? Yeah, I think probably he did. But, maybe it was to teach me a lesson in situational issues. I got a little bit frustrated that my friend was changing plans after I had done my whole evening different just for him. Maybe God was giving this man hope and whatever. I don't know, and it doesn't matter. It was sweet.

Then I went to The Circle. Ohh my goodness it was good. It was about forgiveness. I can't explain it all, but GOD IS SO GOOD PEOPLE!! It was amazing, in the most real and sincere way.

fart time

2010-03-03T19:44:00.001-08:00

The tale of the farting professor. . . . Soo funny i'll update when I got's the time. Off to slumber land for me.

TO JANICE

2010-03-01T09:46:00.000-08:00

Janice, I threw some thoughts together in an awkward presentation of my feelings and thoughts. It is simply meant to EXPRESS. It was motivated by your thoughts on our conversation and the most recent turn of events between us.

What I expected
And what I got
Did not line up
I chose to stop

The hand was heavy
Expectations high
My heart was right
My patience went dry

Don’t call it a failure
Don’t call it lost time
If we both learn more of ourselves
The end becomes justified

I had more, but this just seems stupid and as I re-read it I feel like an elementary school kid wrote it. I will just say what I am thinking in sentences.

I was making it (our relationship) about me and I wanted it to be a specific way, and when it was not happening, I became extremely disgruntled (inwardly mostly). I didn't bring you in to so much. I won't say that you deserve better, because I really did try. BUT, it doesn't matter what you did or didn't deserve; what happened, happened. I want to be able to make a friendship work. I am willing to change my heart & mind in order to have a friendship that works with you. From this point on, I would like to commit to a friendship. No expectations, no pointing out flaws, just the connection between two individuals who care for each other in a way that can be embraced.

st. peters

2010-02-28T19:53:00.001-08:00

I went to a catholic church downtown today called St. Peters. It was a unique experience. It works for many, and I respect that. But it is definately not for me.

I am dealing with many difficult things with YL kids. Being intimately in the lives of high school kids is not easy. BUT, it is very fulfilling. :~)

Mer

2010-02-27T19:18:00.001-08:00

Today was a waste, and the curse of 'The Saturday' hit me full blast. I didn't get home till late because I was out for such a long time taking that woman home. So, I didn't get the engines running till like 2ish. I cleaned my bathroom and eventually Merideth came over to celebrate her B-Day. Mer turned 28 yesterday.

I was driving to school to finally get some work done, it was like 5ish. When I got close to school I got a phone call from Mer. She was crying, I couldn't believe it. The last time I heard Mer cry was when I was very young. I ended up going over to her house to talk. I did that, and i'm confused at what God is doing. I'm just trying to do what is right. I am confused and hurting, but seriously just trying to do what is right for Mer. To love her, sincerely love her in a way that allows her to experience Christ through me. I don't say that in a prideful way, quite the opposite actually. I want her to have PEACE in her life. . . .

It happens, and i'm glad

2010-02-26T23:14:00.001-08:00

The day started off with me going to work as usual. Then, I actually got to go to a movie with my friend George. We went & saw The Crazies. It was a pretty okay movie, but don't see it if you wanna have a happy ending, cuz I don't think you will find it in that movie.

After I dropped George off, I went directly to Snider High school to pick up Casey. I have been promising Casey that I would take him to go out and get a bunch of applications for different places, like especially fast food places near Snider & his home. Well, mission accomplished. He got like 11 or 12 applications. And so that is a good thing. Hopefully this is all going to work towards the goal of him being able to pay for and drive a truck that his Aunt said she would give to him. "fingers crossed"

After I dropped him off at his parents place, I tried to hang out with a couple of other kids, but it was not working out. So, I texted Ryan, and he was chillen with this dude Kyle from the high school he does contact work at. They were at IPFW in the Student Union building, so I headed over that way. That is Kyle on the far end of the picture. The story gets sort of complicated because his grandmother is a jehovahs witness. And, well she doesn't want him doing anything that is not associated with jehovah witnesses. All else is worldly and not to be messed with. So, Young Life was not too appealing of an idea for her. But, I know God is working in this situation. And Kyle sure is interested. So, we will see what God has planned in all this. It will be sweet though.

The night ended with me going over to Ryans house, and we watched The Informant with Mat Damon. It was dry, but right up my ally.I left Ryan's house pretty late. The roads were pretty bad, as it had been snowing for the majority of the evening. Long story short, I was very near my house when I happened to come across a vehicle in a very peculiar position in an area that there was not a road because of a bunch of road construction. I pulled over to my bank, which was very near the car & a safe place to park. I walked through the snow over to the car and as I looked at the tire tracks, I immediately thought to myself "this driver is most likely drunk." As she saw me approaching, she got out of her car and as soon as she said her first word. I was correct, she was drunk. I looked closer at the vehicle, and knew she/we had no chance to push it out. I was also worried for her, if a cop drove by, she would get a D.U.I. for sure. I told her it would be best for her to get out of there and deal with it in the morning. I offered to give her a ride home, and on the way to her house, she sort of broke down. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe she just really needed to vent. Needless to say, it was my job to listen and comfort on that ride home, and in that driveway. That is what I did. I feel like I represented Christ in a great way, and helped her keep her nursing position as well as get her out of a sticky situation. I could say a lot more, but I think that is enough. Good day, Great God.

The Circle experience # 2

2010-02-25T19:54:00.001-08:00

Went to The Circle again. It was once more a great experience, and I am glad this opportunity has come into my life. It is a really good thing. Really really really good thing.

It pays to seek His kingdom

2010-02-24T19:21:00.000-08:00

I stayed home today. I needed sleep and cold sores were infesting my face. But, that is neither here nor there. I want to talk about how I had success in Christ today. As soon as I got home from working with the little kiddies I took a nap. I actually took a nap with Oliver (my moms dog). I just passed out right on the couch, and Oliver was right next to me. It was cute. But, after I woke up I started watching a little bit of T.V. Just a little bit, I swear. Anyways, I was tempted, tempted in purity. I knew I had a chance to make, seek first his kingdom or go after what I wanted. It was so cool, I just sat up, shut off the t.v. and started saying as many Bible verses in my mind as I could remember. The last one I said was 1 Corinthians 10:13 "And no temptation as seized you except what is common to man and God is faithful, he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear, but when we are tempted he will give us a way out so that we may stand up under it." I typed that from memory, so it may be a few words off. What matters is that it gave me this whole new outlook. I had this deep desire to grab my Bible study, and that is what I did. Good timing God, my Bible study lead me to Psalm 119:9 & 11 Now I had not looked ahead yesterday when I started my notes. 119:9 says ⁹ How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. And :11 says ¹¹ I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Now when I read these two verses, along with the verses in my John study, I just had this grin on my face. God is a great God. He gives me what I want, when I need it. I just must choose to seek it.

Then I studied SPANISH.

I studied a lot of Spanish. Me no likey Spanishey. The day ended with Young Life CLUB. It went really good. Josh, my area director is so good at giving a YL talk. I think I can get to that point. I don't know if I will ever be good at the whole acting thing, but I can do the talk I feel. I dunno, it's whatever. Tomorrow I am super unprepared for my classes. Spanish took priority today.

study, exam, bar, ticket

2010-02-23T20:54:00.001-08:00

Today was like this > > > > > Study, study, study, study, study. Then some studying, and some time of study, study, study, study, study. Once I had been studying for a while, I decided to take a little break and then back to studying. It just never ends. Tuesdays are killer for me.

6:00PM eventually came around though and I took my first COM 300 exam. It was an hour and forty-five minutes of essay writing. Choose 6 out of 7 essays. When it got over, well I was exhausted and feeling a little yucky. I started to feel come cold sores come on. And truth be told, I hate cold sores more than anything else in my body. Well, except for M/S. So, I guess it would be safe to say I hate cold sores second only to multiple sclerosis.

But, no rest for the weary, because at 9:00PM I promised my bro's that I would meet downtown at JK O'Donnels (Irish pub). I promised to meet there for Ryan's 21st B-Day!! Horray!! If you look back on my 21st B-Day you would see that is where I went too.

Sorry the picture is so dark, but there was not much light in that place. It was a really good time. Had a couple of beers with close friends, and enjoyed celebrating Ryan's B-Day. Really, and Ryan had a super good time too. Sitting next to Ryan is Sam. Sam is a great guy. He is a fellow Young Life leader and friend. When I look up to the married Young Life leaders I really look up to them. They have such great relationships with their wives and I really look up to them. Anyways, that was sort of a tangent.

I love these friends because they love the Lord, and it shows by how we love each other. When I left the pub I just randomly wondered, "hummm I wonder what my B.A.C. (Blood Alcohol Content) is?" Little did I know I would shortly be finding out. I dropped off Zach, Ben, and Ryan then I headed home. I went down a road I seem to go down several times every day. I was driving down St. Joe when I came up to the 3-way stop. It was probably about 12:15AM. I was driving and just wanted to get home and go to bed, to try to stop the infestation of cold sores on my upper lip, nose, and tongue. AHHHHHH!!!! What did I do? Well, I blew through a stop sign. There were no cars coming towards me, only a vehicle maybe 3/4 to a mile behind me (which I thought was a mini-van). It was not a mini-van, it was a squad car. She pulled me over, and wrote me a $215.00 ticket. I completely deserved it, and she was actually very nice about it. I knew what I did, and she knew what I did. She even made several good points. I'm an idiot. Seriously, the last time I got a ticket was for the same thing. Except it was on campus, and I just didn't come to a "complete stop." This time I didn't even attempt to. :-/ In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, DO'OH!!! Oh, and in case you are wondering what I blew after drinking 2 beers, well my B.A.C. was at a 0.017

toothbrush & a Bible study + horrible event

2010-02-22T18:38:00.001-08:00

Today I got a free toothbrush. It is a pretty nice toothbrush too. Like a super sonic toothbrush or something. I vibrates really fast. Ya see, for the past 3 weeks I have been involved in a dental research study. There is a research center that my friend Ryan told me about half way through last semester. Well, this was my first study. They gave me $75 for brushing my teeth with some different toothbrushes for 3 weeks. It was great, I mean I brush my teeth already!!

I had a Young Life leader meeting at 1, which I have every week. It was good. They are always good. I feel like I am doing really good personally. I am so blessed for where I am at spiritually. God just keeps making sense, and I just have this intense desire to continue to make God, Lord of my life. It is exciting because quite often I get to share that desire with a whole plethora of individuals. It seems to me that God keeps putting people in my life that desire to understand why God is so important to me. I love sharing that. Things that are school/education related sometimes make no sense. Well, quite often they make no sense. And it is extremely hard to find motivation to continue to move forward with them. And I do, I just hate it. I do really well with everything. . . everything except for Spanish. I really struggle with that.

group Bible study

Around 3ish, I picked up three sophomores from Snider high school. I then took them to a coffee shop & we started our Bible study. We are going to go through Romans. It was real good. Those guys were excited about it, and we got into some really great conversation. The cool thing too was the fact that there were 6 other people in there doing Bible studies of their own. There was one girl who I recognized from Campus Crusades (college ministry @ IPFW), and 4 high school girls from a different school doing a Bible study with a male older than me. It was just so cool for me and the guys to see that there are other people out there desiring the same things as us.

This evening I found out that my cousins husband Ken was involved with something truly horrible. A 12-year-old girl died in a motor vehicle accident this morning on Indiana 119 in the vicinity of County Roads 7 and 42, east of Wakarusa.

MULTIMEDIA

Watch The Video

Trevor Wendzonka, spokesman for the Elkhart County Sheriff’s Department, said Naleta Joy Yoder, 12, of Goshen died at the scene of the crash around 7:55 a.m. The vehicle, an SUV, slid out of control on the slick road and crossed the center lane to hit a northeast-bound vehicle. The SUV Yoder was in then caught on fire.

Yoder was riding in the rear on the passenger side, where most of the impact occurred.

"The car was fully involved. Patients were laying on the ground. Bystanders tried to get her out and they couldn't," said Galen Ramer who was one of the first on the scene with the Foraker Fire Dept.

Well, one of those bystanders was my Ken, my cousins husband. He is a farmer and was taking a load of corn/soybean to the bins when he came up on the accident. He was there when the SUV burst into flame. He was there as him and others tried frantically to get the 12 year old girl out of the vehicle but couldn't. To make things even worse it was one of my other uncles niece. It is a small community, but jeeze please pray for all involved. Ken is really shaken up big time. I know the family must be so horribly worse off, but I don't know that family, I do however, know how sensitive Ken is.

I went skiing yesterday and it was a good time.

2010-02-21T18:43:00.000-08:00

So my friend Joe invited me to go skiing on like Wednesday or Tuesday and I said HECK YES! I love to ski, and my boots have been sitting in the garage just sort of mocking me all winter long. That guy in the picture is Joe. Joe is a great guy, and starting in on the whole Young Life leader position. We (Young Life) are so happy to him in along. I am so happy to have him as a friend. He is a good dude. SO, after Joe invited me, I immediately thought to myself, "hummm, this is a good opportunity to invite a Young Life dude I don't get to spend very much time with outside of Young Life activities. So, I gave Eli a call and invited him along. He said, "HECK YES" as well, so off we went. Here is a great picture of Joe and Eli riding up on the ski lift together. You might have to enlarge the picture to see them. They are the two guys on the left though. Here is a great picture of Eli. We were both sitting on a huge mound of snow, waiting for Joe to come and unlock the car after a 10+ hour day of skiing. We were very very cold, but making the best of it and messing around with each other having fun. The ski trip was a success, and I had a great time getting crazy on the slopes and chilling with good people. Sometimes expressing God just means being a normal person doing fun stuff. The secret is being a representation of Christ while you do it.

But, my day today started off sore. Man did my skiing muscles get a work out! I went to church, studied at school for a bit, and then went to another Young Life leader meeting. After that we had campaigners (Young Life Bible study).

Here is a picture I snapped from that action. It was good, and I love talking God with these guys. It does me so much good too. It is 10:00, and I need to go to bed. My body is still super sore and ready to gather some much needed sleep.

P.S. I hate Spanish. That class is huge thorn in my foot. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I don't know how i'm gonna get through it. . . .

Tangible Tysabri

2010-02-19T19:12:00.000-08:00

It was time to get me some TYSABRI again today. My monthly infusion happened this morning after I left Snider high school; welcoming kids as they walked into school. So, today was my 21st infusion of the drug TYSABRI!! I can't believe next month will be the 2 year mark?!?!?! That is just crazy to me. That means I have had 2 years of good health. I am so thankful. I sure hope there is not going to be some horrible downside to this medication, but I suppose it is still to early to tell. And, whatever the outcome, it truly is in God's hands. So, my pastor gave me this book. It is called The Tangible Kingdom. It is amazing how they present the heart of church reality in America today. It is good, how about I just say that.

Okay, so after I got my infusion I went home for a bit and tried hard to study. Dang, studying is so difficult these days. lol, where the heck is my motivation. I just wanna read the Bible, not read about the emotional tendencies of persuasion. But, I suppose it is just a step forward. It's all good. I'll get'er done. I said I would do childcare in the afternoon back at Lincoln Elementary. The place I worked at all last year.

It was good to be back at Lincoln. Not only for the two lovely ladies I worked with all last year, but to see all the kids again. So many of them are growing up so much. WOW! It was neat to get so many hungs. Some of them acted like I had never left. Spencer, this little "emotional" 3rd grader had a rough day and she came to me and gave me a big hug and was crying and explained all her problems. I was just like, "awwww." It was precious. I am going sking tomorrow, so I am gonna sleep and wake up early. I will be taking a YL kid with me and my friend Joe. It'll be sweet! I can't wait to go sking.

God, you blow me away, over and over and over and. . .

2010-02-18T20:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, so today was great, just great. . . . well, I guess I didn't get very much work done, but God did some work in me and i'm like woooow. I could tell you about all the boring stuff, but ima get right to the meat of the day. So, towards the evening, Steasha (lady I work at the YMCA childcare in the morning with) texted me and asked if I would be interested in coming to "The Circle." The circle is a young adult gathering that gets together on Thursday nights downtown at this church building thing. Check this out.
Steasha is in the yellow to the right. My skin color had no worth there. And Ben (YL leader) and I were the only white guys. I honestly felt like we were all brothers and sisters in Christ though. It was so much fun too. We played that game where you have to act out stuff in a time limit and get the team to guess what yo1u are acting out. . . what is that called? And then this guy came, he is the pastor of the church apparently. I don't think he regularly speaks there, but he was tonight. The topic was "RELATIONSHIPS." Check out this list he gave us.

6 things to look for

in that "SIGNIFICANT OTHER or
MAKE SURE YOU ALREADY HAVE"

Is the relationship moving too quickly?

Flee from sexual immorality. (1 corinthians 6:18) This is all kinds of sexual issues, from thoughts to the physical touch.

Is your significant other KIND?

How does she treat the waiter at a restaurant when he/she messes up the order?
How does she act in traffic?
How does she love people?

Is this person a teammate?

Will she go to spiritual battle with you?
Is she an individual who will protect you? ** Maybe this just means keeping things in confidence. You know, protecting your privacy.**

Is this a person of integrity?

The pastor gave the "milk jug" example. If your significant went to the grocery store and forgot to put a couple of milk jugs on the bottom of the cart and the check out person didn't see them, and your significant other didn't realize it till she got to the car, would she take them back in because it was the right thing to do?

Is this person a quitter?

When the going gets tough, does she get going, or is she likely to fold under pressure?
Does she have a "forever" view of marriage (NO BACKING OUT)?

Is God my & her most important priority?

If I ever put my significant other before God, or she ever puts me before God, He will remove his blessing from that relationship. Simple as that.

Wow, this message really hit me in a place where I needed to be hit. It was really good for me to hear, but also a little difficult. Hummm, did God bring me to this place for a reason? More than just the message though. I have been desiring to bring diversity to Young Life, maybe this can become a place where I will learn how to make that possible. Who knows what God has going on. I'm excited to find out though. :o)

I did my best

2010-02-17T19:50:00.000-08:00

Today was the first CLUB of 2010. It was amazing. My skit idea didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it to, but, it was pretty friggin funny still. I horribly failed my Spanish quiz or exam, I don't know what it was. I just know I bombed it. Bombed it horribly. Bombed it something horrible. I just don't care. I don't know how I am going to make it through 2 more semesters of this. I would rather have my pinky finger cut off than learn Spanish. I have no motivation to learn/study it any more. It sucks. . .

Back to CLUB though. It really was amazing. Check it out.

I was taken by how many kids showed up tonight. There was diversity too. Kids from all different walks of life, nationalities, and all. There were freshmen, and it was so good. Dang, I am just so pumped for what God is bringing to YL Fort Wayne.

I gave the talk tonight. I shared from my heart, but don't feel I did very good. Who knows though. If it touched one kids heart, it was all worth it. I just don't know though. Maybe i'm too hard on myself. LOL, one of my signs though for doing good is a leader or multiple leaders will come up to me and mention something about my talk. No one mentioned anything about my talk tonight. Maybe I didn't prepare enough. . . I don't know. I am super tired, and tired of thinking. Janice is pretty stuck in my head right now too. I wish life was simpler. Or, maybe I should say I wish I allowed myself to allow life to be simpler. Seriously.
Check out the final cut of the characters. Pretty "SHIBBY!"

I should be sleeping, not posting

2010-02-16T20:45:00.000-08:00

I seriously should be asleep. I have to get up early. . . . . I love this BLOG too much to let it go though. I am drawn to it. Some force attracts my finger tips to the buttons, all else just flows out.

This picture was taken at the daycare this morning. I thought this was a cool picture. Aaron (kid in background) is just putting the ball up, and Triston, kid closer to the net is trying to block. Hee Hee. Little kids take B-Ball time seriously. It's all good though.

So much happened today. I needed to do so much more than what I did too. But, that's life. You get so many hours, and if you don't squeeze everything in, well, too bad.

God is amazing though, and I have amazing people in my life. Seriously.

active, busy, nonstop, going

2010-02-15T19:16:00.000-08:00

From the second I woke up, to me sitting on the couch right now @ 9:30'ish pm, I have been on the go go go.

Work (childcare)

working out (downtown YMCA)

school (studying for COM exam)

Young Life Student Staff meeting!

I love these meetings. They are so good for my soul. Being with these two guys Josh & Ryan, who so love the Lord, encourages me greatly. I love surrounding myself with these people who share the same desires as me. We get a lot accomplished too.

meeting with my OLS partner to work

on our big project.

Spanish Class

BSF

& then . . .

I went home and laid low. It was time

for me to eat some dinner. I WAS SO HUNGRY!!

And now it is time for me to go to beddy bye. Seriously I need a good sleep. I tossed and turned till like 2:30 in the morning yesterday in bed. I need a good sleep badly tonight. And that was my day.

Austin's baptism

2010-02-14T20:05:00.000-08:00

What an opportunity. Dang, seriously what an amazing opportunity. I feel so lucky that God allows me to be a part of something so beautiful. I am constantly learning so much from these kids I get the chance to hang out with. Seriously I feel so blessed that God allows me to see his work first hand. It is a powerful thing.

After I got out of church, I went to Austin's church to do this baptism, it is Grace Gathering out in New Haven. Sweet church, and a good fit for Austin. There is a great tight knit community of his friends as well as Young Life leaders.

After church let out, I ended up at school battling my way through Chapter 5 in my persuasion class. Once that was accomplished I headed over to our first leader meeting for the year. It was amazing, both for the leaders, but for our overall moral I think. It was a very powerful meeting. People were vulnerable and it paid off. It is amazing what being honest and admitting your sin can do for your soul. As I grow, I find more and more that it is an essential act for Christians seeking to be healed.

Then after the meeting, I headed off to campaigners (YL Bible study). We had it at my church, where my pastor ended our 3 week discussion on purity. He wrapped things up for us. I believe it was good. We will see what the guys thought about it next week.

Jump Tomorrow

2010-02-13T20:14:00.000-08:00

So today was the opposite of lazy. Accomplishments abounded around every corner. Yes, I got up, took a shower, and headed to the library.
Yea, this is where some of the magic (studying) took place. But, what I would like to focus on is the fact that it did in deed take place; studying that is. Yep, I studied till about 6pm. Then I went over to Ryan's house. Twas a good thing. We (Ryan, Nate, and I) chilled for a bit, then eventually headed over to the local Cinema Center where we watched Jump Tomorrow. The three of us didn't really know what to expect. We walked into the Cinema Center not even knowing what was playing, but then saw this sign I read about 6 or 7 sentences from a piece of paper telling about the film, and well we all unanimously knew it was the movie for us. And to make things even better. Apparently on Saturdays movies only cost $2. The movie was really fun. It was a cheesy, awkward love story. It is just one of those independent movie that I just really appreciate. It was really good. But, even better to enjoy with my friends.

A Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon,

Where there is doubt, faith,

Where there is despair, hope,

Where there is darkness, light,

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grand that I may

not so much seek to be consoled,

as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we

receive--

It is in pardoning that we are

pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

ohhhh crap, lazy again?

2010-02-12T21:14:00.001-08:00

I thought these days weren't suppose to be common place. . . . .

I talked with Janice yesterday evening, very late. I reached out to her.

I shouldn't have done that, but I got weak, and missed her so much. I don't even know what I expected to get from her. But, what ended up happening was she was very honest with me, via text message, but honest none the less. Reality brick wall. I built up this brick wall. I could have left things the same, but it would have only been worse, I know this has to be true. Darn though. It ended with me sulking around and feeling sorry for myself. I just need to hold on to what I know is right. Nuff talk about that.

Anyways, I laid around the house all day today. I mean, I went to work from 6:15 to like 8:45. But, then I went home and just laid around like a big lazy bum. What a lazy bum I can have. Big and lazy it is. Yep. So, I am glad I talked about my butt in this post. Don't think I really need to accomplish anything else.

We got something good here today

2010-02-11T18:21:00.000-08:00

Here is subject number one. I got to play all morning with this little guy this morning. There was a two hour delay so I was off to Franke Park elementary school to hang out with the kids. It was a good time. Looks like I will be spending a lot of time here, at least for the next 90 days anyways.

And here is subject number two. This little girl has more personality than a whole bus full of little kids put together. I love it too. I walk into the gymnasium at Franke Park elementary, and she just comes up to me and puts her hand on her hip and says, "hello, wanna play?" I say, "sure." Then she just gives me a big ole hug. I love little kids. Even when they have attitudes and are really difficult. Okay, so get this last part of the Thursday equation. I needed a partner for my OLS class, and last Tuesday we had to pick them. Well, I knew that this girl (above) was supposed to be my partner, but she was not in class. And hadn't been for a little while. Well, I still felt like I should move forward, and put her down as my partner. My partner for a project that is going to count for like 30% of our final grade. She was in class today and we decided to get coffee afterwards to talk about the project. Well, we did do some talking. But, the project got minimal attention. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that God set up this appointment. I look forward to see what God has up his sleeves.

My day today was alright I suppose

2010-02-10T20:02:00.000-08:00

I woke up late. I slept in; looking back I wish I wouldn't have slept in. The days I wake up early and get things rolling, no matter what i'm doing, as long as I get up and get going, I get so much accomplished and I feel my day was worth while. Alas. . . laziness can take over, especially when the weather is crap, and I am extremely tired.

Shucks though, days like this are rare. So, I suppose I am okay with this. Also, because of the weather, our first Young Life club of the year was canceled. This was a disappointment because me and some of the other leaders had some really sweet ideas planned for characters and some other things. See this picture over to the left. Well, that is part of one of the character ideas I have. It is going to be brilliant. . . . I JUST NEED TO HAVE CLUB to make it all happen. . . . soon enough though, soon enough. :-}

funny pic

2010-02-09T06:49:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, my brother forwarded this picture to me. I laughed. Then I really asked myself, "I wonder how they thought this picture would be effective in motivating people not to drink?"

-I miss someone today. I really super wanted to text/call/contact this person, but did not. DIFFICULT!!

Brooks & some video. . . with other stuff

2010-02-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this is great. I have so much fun in my life. I can't imagine having anyone else's life. Mine is pretty darn great. My day started off at Brooks's apartment. I helped him get his 'student loan' stuff configured and all set up. It took a long time and patience with his little kids running around, BUT, we eventually got it figured out and completed. I really love hanging out with Brooks. Today I got to talk to him and his wife about life back in Liberia. It is amazing what some people have been through. It is amazing to me what they miss from their life in Africa. Not only does it help me to appreciate my situation better, but it helps me to appreciate my family and connection with friends better. There is so much wisdom here to be learned.

Later on after I got out of BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) International, I went over to my friend Ben's house. Ryan came shortly there after and we all worked on a video. We also thought up some amazing ideas for CLUB SKITS!! All I can say at this point is that CLUB is going to be amazing on Wednesday. . . . . heh heh heh. . . .

super bowl

2010-02-07T23:57:00.001-08:00

We had a Super Bowl for the Young Life guys. It was really good. Well, the food was amazing, the game could have had a way better outcome. But that is neither here nor there. Good stuff though.

food, canceled Leadership summit, and other things

2010-02-06T00:28:00.000-08:00

Well, I was supposed to leave this morning at 6:30am to go with a bunch of other Fort Wayne Young Life leaders to Baghdad, Kentucky for a Young Life summit conference. Because of all the snow we got, the roads just got too bad. It had to be called off.

Anyways, here are a bunch of pictures to share what has been going on the the past couple days.

The donuts got passed out at Snider high school on Friday morning as the kids were entering into school. I love being there in the morning. They are always amazed at the energy I have. Both the kids and the teachers. But, that is me. I am high output, loads of energy. That is just who I am. And the cookies, well, those were for the Friday night Varsity B-Ball game. My friend Synda and I made them, and me and fellow Young Life leader Ben passed them out. IT WENT WELL!! HORRAY! This is from when I was at Wall Mart with some YL guys. I was helping Eli get some pictures for his photography class. And Austin and Ryne were there just chillen.

Ohh, I also made a funny video. Our attempt was to try to make a video that conveyed what exactly Young Life is. Ya know, maybe tell a little bit about club and stuff like that. It did not turn out exactly how I had envisioned it to, but I still like the final product. But, it appears I only uploaded it to Face Book, and not to YouTube. . . . . So, I cannot share it here on my BLOG.

I am doing good today. A couple of curve balls, but still moving forward. Trying so hard to seek Christ in all I do. Truly I am. It's all I can do. "Try to give Him all I can."

wall-mart express

2010-02-03T22:34:00.001-08:00

Today I was pretty lazy. It happened mostly cuz right off the bat this morning my tummy was not feeling too hot. But when I got around to doing stuff (maybe 11:30) I was rocking the Spanish like a rockstar. . . . . . I loathe Spanish homework. But then, before you knew it, it was time to go to Spanish. I picked up my friend Synda (I have 2 classes with Synda), and we rocked out to Español. I hate studying the subject, but I actually really like the class. I can tell Synda is going to be a good friend. We have 2 classes together, but already we show signs of strength in friendship. It is good to have that.

So you are probably wondering what is up with the picture above. Well, that is my friend Synda and her roommate Katie. I went shopping with them at Wall-Mart. I don't know why I said that in past tense, I am actually still walking in Wall-Mart with the 2 girls and it is 1:08AM. There are all kinds of unique people in this place at this time of day. We are checking out now. . . . . so I am just gonna say G'Night Oh, and just a little update on Janice and how I am doing with all that. Well, I am doing really good. Every time she comes up. I go directly to God in prayer and ask him to clear my mind of her. At times I pray for her, but usually I ask God to clear my mind of her. It works really good, and it is making me rely on Him in a big way. . . . k k G'Night for real this time.

Oh, I wanted to post this from the other day. But, I forgot. Check it out.

I read this in my Bible study notes this morning, it was an "eyebrow lifting moment" for me. A super good reminder. The essential words are in RED.

To go with John 12:25-26>>>
When I receive Jesus through the person of the Holy Spirit to be within me and I am "in Him," there is a sense in which I also become a "kernal of wheat," for His own life is now the "kernal" within me. His thoughts become my thoughts, His emotions become my emotions, and His will becomes my will IN PROPORTION as I am UNITED to Him. This also means that His desire for fruitfulness, for the reproduction of the life of Christ in others, which animated Him, also pulsates within my own soul IN PROPORTION to my SURRENDER to Him.

Me: As we die, we too produce many seeds, well J.C. does through us anyways. This stuck out to me because there is a sort of cause & effect. As we continually choose to give in to Him, we are blessed by the outcome; LIFE, both in & around us. This makes me excited!!

-Mikey

sooooooo tired

2010-02-02T20:04:00.001-08:00

I am so tired. I am not going to be able 2 post tonight. Seriously, I am laying in bed just trying to keep my eyes open just long enough to finish typing. . . . . p.s. this picture was taken while I was driving to the YMCA to work out @ like 7:30am.

A real sweet thing happened today

2010-02-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I was lazy at the start of the day. But, around noon'ish I got around and at 1:15 I met with my Young Life area director and we had ourselves a good little meeting. Really setting the tone for the semester. I am excited to say the "least." And this meeting went to about 2:30'ish. As I left, I remembered that I was going to meet up with Austin & Eli to practice his presentation for something he and his friends call, "Young Young Life" or "Real Talk." It is really pretty amazing, it is a handfull of high school guys who get together every week at someones house, talk about God, and end with a verse. It is student lead, and YL leaders are not allowed. It is totally legit, I am freeking proud of these guys. After I hung out with Austin & Eli, I took Eli home and then went to Spanish class. Spanish class got over and I headed off to BSF. I have to hurry to BSF now because this semester Spanish class starts at 5:30 instead of 4:30. And it is not on campus, it is at an elementary school kind of on the other side of town. So, as I am driving to BSF ("Bible Study Fellowship") I am kind of hurrying. And, well NPR wasn't cutting it as far as what I wanted to listen to. 88.3, the Christian station wasn't cutting it either. I just felt like listening to some hard base. So, I put on the hip-hop station and what happened? Well, I heard a song that so completely reminded me of Janice that I broke down a little bit, you know like the icky feelings in the tummy kind of remembering.

I got over it though, and went to BSF. BSF is a really great thing

in my life. I am so grateful for the men who make it up, as well as

the teachings I walk away from daily while taking part in it.

I took this picture during prayer time. Maybe i'm not supposed to take pictures during prayer time, but I did. I love this picture because it is hundreds of Christian men bowing their heads in reverence to the God of the universe. It is a powerful thing. Seeing all these men coming together to seek God. Powerful in deed. John Chapter was good for the past week. It was real good.

Once I got home I was sitting with my dad eating Ice cream. I got a text message from Janice. It said, "Hi Mikey." What ended up happening was she needed clarification on what our "break up" actually meant. I ended up calling her, and it was very difficult to hear her voice. But, it was not something I could do over the phone. I stuck to my guns, and even though I wanted to be there for her and comfort her, even in the midst of that, I still felt peace. Knowing that I made the right decision. And though it is still a very difficult situation, I know it is the right one. Even though at times I want to scream a little bit, I know I made the right situation. Truly I do.

Ohh, and one more great thing to add to the listing of the days events. Austin asked me if I would be the one to actually dunk him under the water when he gets baptized!! :-O I felt so blessed!! I can't believe God keeps allowing me to see his power and might at work in the lives of the people he loves so dearly. It is an amazing thing to be a part of.

G'Night!

What do I BLOG about today?

2010-01-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

Maybe, just for a change in topic; i'll blog about BLOGGING. I started this BLOG on October 29th, 2006. This will be my 1,041st post. This is the longest I have ever stuck with anything. I have tried to stick with things before. Ya know, things like work out programs, reading books, and pretty much a lot of stuff. Blogging just makes sense for me. I love it, it brings like a bit of a peace. I feel relaxed when I get everything off my chest. It's a good thing.

In church today, we talked about not worrying. It was real good. I don't have my journal with me, because it is in the car. But, take my word for it. It was a good sermon.

I did pretty good with mentally dealing with Janice today I feel. Actually I did really good. I am trusting God more and more with her. And it is really helping me to truly let go. I forgot to talk about my BLOG. But, i'm super tired, and I wanna wake up early so I can go to the Y to work out early in the morning before I start my day.

HAVE A GOOD EVENING!

turned out alright

2010-01-30T21:07:00.000-08:00

Today I was uber lazy. Like seriously, I laid around the house and did nothing. I was at the house till probably 1:30pm. I got up and around because my friend Jim texted me and wanted to meet at school to play some pool. Yeah, Jim is a good friend. I really like talking about God with him. We are in the same place I feel in a lot of ways. We seem to complement each other really well spiritually. I am hesitant to use that word, but it works.

After I was done playing pool, I met up with my friend Ryan and his little sister to eat some Mexican food at this place called Casa Grande. It was real good, and real free for me. Then Me, Ryan, and our friend Zach went to this like art show for Haiti.
The guy was really passionate about the whole Haiti situation. And he had good reason to be, he has family over there and it was a good reminder. The evening ended at my friend Ryan's house. Ryan, Zach, and I hung out, watched T.V. and had some good conversation. All is well.

God is good.
Friends are good.
Life is good.

Letting go is extremely painful. God has to have a reason for be and Janice being in a relationship though.

funny morning. . .

2010-01-29T23:09:00.001-08:00

A good day. And not JUST because of the Snider game I went to. . . . . to be continued

a cold helping hand

2010-01-28T18:18:00.000-08:00

So, I got a text message from Austin (YL friend) today. And, well he wanted to bang out some of the community service hours he has to complete, well says his probation officer. I of course agreed to help him out. So, we grabbed some snow shovels and headed out to clear some driveways. There was a little bit of good conversation, but it was so cold, I think the fact that we were just working to accomplish something, well was good enough. I was glad I was able to help, and I don't think it will be the last time. He probably has 18 hours left to be "serviced."

After I took Austin home, another YL guy wanted to talk. It was so cool what he wanted to talk to me about. And, well, it seems to me that God is reassuring me once again that everything happens for a reason. I don't even want to doubt God. Well, I at least want to get to a point where I doubt God a lot less. I really desire being at a place where I accept what God is doing, and just roll with it. :o)

Today was a good day.

Early start

2010-01-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

This morning I started off real early. Just like last year. Yep, I was back with the kids at an Elementary school where the YMCA is present at.

Did that sentence even make sense? Anyways, I worked from 6:30-9:30, and it was fun playing with the kids. After I finished there, I went and got an oil change, which was much needed. $14.95 @ the Chevy dealership. I got my Bible Study accomplished while I was waiting, then I went to Snider to hang out with High School kids. It was real good. It was a real good day. Seriously, a lot of the really "ouchy" pain I have been experiencing because of the whole Janice thing, well I was able to stay busy and not dwell too much on it. God is good, and faithful. Yes he sure is.

188,888 miles

2010-01-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

Today I hit a bench mark. Ohh yes, the Camry hit 188,888 miles today. I felt it was such a big moment, I just had to take a picture of it and share with you all.

Today was a heck of a day. It started off with me waking up and realizing I had a very strange dream about Janice. I keep having these dreams. . . kind of makes it difficult to stop thinking about her if I can't even escape her when I sleep. But, check this out (I remember it so specifically, because I wrote it down as soon as I was up and moving). The dream I had last night I had was about Janice. I remember being in a pretty deep sleep and I remember talking on the phone with Janice. We were talking for quite a long time and I remember she was in her Aunt's BMW with Amilaino in the back seat. It was weird because I specifically remember talking to her on the phone, but I also remember seeing her and her cousin in the car. Anyways, the next thing I remember was I asked where she was going and she told me she was going to go get a Big Mac at McDonalds. That was when the conversation turned sour. When I look back on the dream, it is sort of silly now, but in the midst of it I was really mad. Goodness, this feeling of her in my mind has got to dissipate soon. . . . right? I mean, when am I going to miss her less?

Once I got to school. . . . well, God was testing my patience HARDCORE! Check this out. I wake up early, and me and another YL leader went to Snider High School to welcome kids in by holding the doors open. Then I went to school. Ya see I had to go to a Geology lab. I hadn't gotten the book yet, so I went with $100 cash to purchase the book. I remember I had checked it out and it only cost $92.50. But for some reason, it was over $107.00. . . . A little frustrated, I drove all the way home to get $10 more. I went back to the book store, and bought the book. Then I went right to class. Turns out I had purchased the WRONG BOOK! So, in the middle of class, I went and returned the book and got the right one . . . BUT, I forgot the receipt!!! So, I went back to the classroom, got the receipt, and then went back to the book store again. . . . Then back to the classroom, once again. I sat through class, and turns out I missed a lot when I missed that first class (I was in California an extra day). And, the Geology class is just insanely difficult. SO, when the class was over, I went and RETURNED the book one last time. Then I went to drop the class. . . . but there was a hold on my account for $17.50 from last semester for some reason. Then, I went and paid it, and all was well. It was very stressful though, lol.

Spanish class was really good though

BSF was amazingly good too. Did you know that Jesus Wept (John 11:35), the verse, may have more implications behind it than Jesus just feeling bad for Lazarus? Maybe, he was upset at their lack of faith, or just at the whole concept of there being death. The world God created was not to have death, just perfect life. We really screwed things up, what, with all our crazy human sinfulness and such. . . . . G'Night!!!

today was good man/woman

2010-01-24T21:08:00.000-08:00

This is me and my awesome white jacket. It is so awesome. Ohh, and this is what I am going to be doing for the majority of my life for the next however long this semester is.

Dang, today was good. Starting in church and it just kept getting better! There was times where I missed Janice like crazy, but, it was still so good.

I was just in the Spirit today I guess you could say. My heart was soft, and I just wanted to love everyone. I wanted to talk to strangers and show people that Christ is in me in a big way. Dang it is good to love Christ and show it by your actions, words, and thoughts. It seriously gets me pumped!! I have no idea what God is going to do to make my situations fixed, like money, and medication, and other things. BUT, it doesn't matter. God is going to do what God needs to do because he is GOD. Simple as that.

God is so good!

Student Staff meeting

2010-01-23T21:27:00.000-08:00

Today I had a student staff meeting in Indianapolis. It was a really good thing I think. The part I appreciated the most was the time when I got to ask 4 separate individuals who are on staff with Young Life about their experiences with it. I got to ask a lot of questions that have really been on my heart. It really was a pretty good meeting, but I liked the drive to and from Indianapolis with Ryan even better. We had some really good talk time together.

I went to school as soon as I got home and worked on a homework assignment for a long time. But I don't want to talk about that.

A friend of mine reminded me of Haiti. I mean I think about it daily, but my friend reminded me to outwardly express my heart. What has happened in Haiti is horrible. It is confusing and unfair. It makes me angry and horribly sad. I also feel so blessed, and even more confused at why I am so blessed. I count my blessings, and wonder why they can't have theirs. Then it brings me back to a place where I realize that God does what he needs to do, because HE IS GOD!

But, please. Remember Haiti, and pray. Pray for the people to have comfort brought to them. Pray for the rescue workers, and that money is distributed properly. Pray for these people, and their horrible situation.

Also, I listened to a really good sermon on prayer.

Check it out!!

4 Essential Attitudes of Prayer

Luke 1:5-20

1.) Let God answer prayer in His time.

-Faith is patient, even when you don't want to be.

-God wants to bless us, but he has to prepare us first.

2.) We must be willing to let God answer prayer in his way.

** Inch by inch, it's a sinch.

yard by hard, it's gonna be hard.

-God will do it his way.

3.) We must be willing to let God answer through his own power and his own ability.

-He is more than enough. Just trust.

4.) Let God answer for his own purpose.

-We may think he is answering for our plan, maybe he is just allowing us to be a part of His.

If you want to listen to it, ~!CLICK HERE!~

let the healing begin

2010-01-22T20:17:00.000-08:00

I talked with Janice today. At first I didn't think it would be a good idea. But, we talked via text message and it gave me some peace. We sort of looked at the terms, and just redefined what we both already knew. A simple step, but one that provided a lot of peace for me and hopefully some for her. I don't know what the future entails. But, I do know that we both need space right now. I am okay with that.

LET THE HEALING BEGIN!!

God is good. Dang he is so extremely good.

fireflies, Austin, & Nicky time

2010-01-21T16:06:00.000-08:00

I took Austin to IPFW (My University) and took him to several different locations to play different pianos. And, we eventually found a place to just sit and talk. I figured we should probably just make a video. . . .

It is good to be back with my Young Life guys.

After I dropped Austin off, I went over to see Nicky. It was really good to see both of them. And, well it helps me to keep my mind off of Janice. It is so difficult,and well I have to submit a lot of my thoughts to God in prayer. A LOT OF PRAYER!! It is so difficult trying to get her out of my mind and thoughts. But, for a while anyways, this is going to be how it will be. God will bring me out of it though, and with more experience and wisdom than I had before. (SIGH) I love my Daddy (Abba Father)!

Galactic Conversations

2010-01-20T22:23:00.001-08:00

I have been pretty down in the dumps. So, George and I got together kind of late and decided we might try to start something. This video could be the beginning of a beautiful humorous video section George and I start. We sure did laugh a lot and it feels good to laugh. Sort of helps me to forget why laughing isn't happening much lately.

I stopped at a coffee shop before I went to my evening Spanish class. I worked on some BSF and such.

I have been thinking about Janice a lot today. Everything reminds me of her. I still stand strong in my decision, knowing it was the best for the both of us. Just because it is difficult and hurts, does not mean it was the wrong decision. It does however, make it one of the hardest break ups i've been through. I can't be angry or frustrated with her. The relationship ended on such a high note. Possibly a little choppy, but nothing overwhelming. Evenings are the hardest. I am so use to connecting with her at night time. Whether it was by SKYPE, texting, or a phone call. I always had her with me ringing in the evening. Now I am just alone. I have my prayers, but my prayers do not tell me they love me and make me smile. I'm not saying God doesn't make me smile, he does, shoot every time I see a beautiful sun set I get a big ole grin on my face. But, it's just not the same as someone you care so dearly for telling you that they love you. . . I just have to keep reminding myself why I made this decision, and then I am brought back to a place where I realize it is for the best. :-(

peace amongst difficulty

2010-01-19T20:30:00.000-08:00

I followed through with an amazingly difficult decision. This could have been one of the hardest decisions I have had to make yet. I ended my relationship with Janice this morning. Oh my goodness it broke me.

It needed to be done. As I talked about a couple of posts ago, you can not live someone else's life for them. And you can't drag someone down a path they haven't chosen to go down on their own, and think the outcome will be pleasant. I love Janice in a mighty way! But, I Love the Lord far more. Without going too specific on my exact reasoning, because I want to be able to respect where Janice is at. I will just say this. We are both at two very different places. And in order for me to continue to do what God has called me to do, I must stay vigilant in all areas of my life. I was starting to show signs of physical, spiritual, and emotional stress because of my relationship with Janice. She is a wonderful woman, and when I say I love her, I mean it. I gave her a big ole piece of my heart. Darn if that doesn't make this incredibly difficult. It was the right decision though. I knew this because after I got out of my 6-8:45pm class, I went to Campus Crusades, and did some praying and worshiping, God soothed my heart, and I felt the peace that only He can provide. Then my brothers and sisters in Christ really helped me to know without a shadow of doubt, that I am doing the right thing.

I really did lose someone extremely important to me today. I lost someone I love. Not because of some horrible action, or because of anger or anything. But because I knew it had to be done. That for "us" staying together would cause more problems and even worse heart ache down the road. I am being obedient, but it doesn't make the pain any less. I love Janice. But, I had to let her go, so that she find on her own, through an inward desire to seek what is right, not because I am there pushing her in the right direction, all the while struggling and slipping myself. That is not what Christ calls us to do in relationships. DAMNIT IT HURTS THOUGH!

Now I ask myself, what do I do now? What do I do with all the pictures and memories and stories that are so fresh in my mind? Goodness, I didn't want to leave California. It will be so difficult for me to continue to move forward in these next weeks to come. I mean, like to really stick to my decision that I know is right. Wow, today sucked so bad at first. Then I allowed God to come in, and things started to get a whole lot better. That is where it all lies. In trusting in His unfailing love. That is all that matters.

2010-01-17T21:50:00.000-08:00

God's great gift of grace is all encompassing. It is warming and powerful.

QUESTION: "Hey mikey, are you confused?"

ANSWER: "Yep, you bet I am."

QUESTION: "Are you happy?"

ANSWER: "Yes, very much so."

QUESTION: "Why?"

ANSWER: "Well, for starters, God's love is amazing and powerful and he loves me more than I can even understand. And I just feel blessed today."

QUESTION: "Does God have something big planned for you?"

ANSWER: "Yes, I believe he does. But, I believe it is already put into motion."

QUESTION: "Do you want to ask and answer more Q&A?"

ANSWER: "No, not really, i'd love to get some good sleep."

You can't live someone elses life

2010-01-16T17:47:00.000-08:00

This statement is very true. No matter how much you know something, or no matter how real it is to your self, your person. It does not change anything for another individual. It may impact them, encourage/discourage, or even set a shining example, but the fact of this matter is . . . you can only make your experiences and life situations as real as you allow them to be made in your heart. Because life is hard. Sometimes life is a bitch for seemingly no reason at all. You can cry out and scream, "IT'S NOT FAIR!!" But it doesn't matter, it doesn't change your circumstance or anyone else's circumstance in the least bit. In fact it probably only aggravates both of the cases.

In case you haven't picked up on my verbal cue's yet. I am referring to myself, and some situations I am currently living through. No, it has nothing to do with health care. It has everything to do with. . . . Knowing where you stand, which side of the fence you are on. I am talking about knowing deep within your heart what you want, even though doubt constantly plagues you.It is about knowing that you don't have to be in control, and realizing that surrender is so much more beautiful than pride and keeping things stuffed deep within even though you have stuffed them deep within yourself all your life, because that is what feels normal, and is extremely easy to revert back to.

It has everything to do with understanding that the struggles you face, and the fears that plague you are not unique, in fact to some degree everyone experiences them. And that even though that doesn't really help, it is about accepting the fact that. . . you are not alone in life. That the realization that God is there, and that he loves you so much is enough. And even if it means coming to that realization every single frickin (I wanted to put F******, but didn't) day, well that life is a million times better than going at it by yourself. Nothing is lasting, nothing is loving, everything is fake away from that notion. I am hard pressed to even call that a life. It is more of a death; trying to live on your own. What I am talking about has everything to do with saying SCREW YOU, to the above statement. There is no "realist" when it pertains to God. God doesn't work under our petty human jurisdiction. He rises above it each and every time we allow him to. And lastly, what I am talking about has everything to do with coming to the acceptance that love is the final word. Love is the strongest equation. That even though it looks and appears difficult, messy, and quite frightening, there is no better "stuff" available. That's it. And I feel pretty good about that. :o)

Confused? I'm sorry, because I am not, and I get it, and will continue to get it even though life throws curve balls and takes me out of my comfort zone all the time. That is where I want to live, that is the life I want to walk through. Because ultimately it allows me to experience the most amazing and powerful peace and satisfaction this pathetic, disgusting, vile, sinful, existence allows me to live. Glory be to God in the highest. I want nothing and for him to have everything.

AMEN.

some bad news & stress

2010-01-15T18:51:00.001-08:00

Okay, so when I got home from my California/Mexico adventure with Janice. I found out that I had lost my health insurance through my dad. It is really pretty simple. When you turn 23 with Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield and are getting insurance through the main carrier (my dad) you get dropped. We (my parents & I) were under the impression that I was good until I was 27. I believed this because my parents told me, and they were apparently just under the wrong impression. Whatever the specific reason is, the fact of the matter is that I got dropped as of December 31st. This add's a lot of stress to the household because my mom now has to work extra hours to make sure I stay healthy. I am now being covered under COBRA health insurance. I am allowed to be on it for 18 months, and it has a hefty premium of $640/month. Not to mention co-pays and what not. Now, I need it because the TYSABRI (medication keeping me healthy) is over $7,000/month.

I am just questioning if I should stay on Young Life student staff, which is really minimal payment. Really, really minimal payment. And confused as to what God is telling me. I don't have peace in my heart, and Satan is really using all these sort of confused thoughts to mess with my head. I am not doubting God in anyway. I do however feel I just don't know what to do with all this. I feel I need to get a "real job" and start providing. But, ministry is a real job, and there lies the confusion. I just don't know. I wish I did.

Doubt, a little bit of fear, confusion, but a heart that desires to work and give my all to Christ. That is where i'm at. God will use that.

I miss Janice

2010-01-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

I have only been away from Janice for three official days. But, already I find I laugh almost never. I have lost a bit of joy. It sucks going from having her so much, to not having her at all. It is very difficult. I know God has done it for the both of us. There are many reasons we are not living close to each other for the time being. I miss her with a great passion though. It is very difficult being away from her all of a sudden. I am happier around her.

From the way she turns her head and crosses her arms.

To the way she drives her car.

To the way she looks like the virgin marry. ;o)

some pictures from the trip

2010-01-13T20:33:00.000-08:00

So right when I got to California, Janice took me out to eat at a pirate dinner place. We watched this amazing pirate show, and I had to stand up in front of everyone, and it was a good time. Little did I know Janice was just buying time. . . . . so she could keep me busy for my SURPRISE BIRTH DAY PARTY!!! She really got me, and I had my first official surprise b-day party. It was a lot of fun. I walked into that house and really was completely surprised, 100%!!
Some days later we went to an amusement park called Notts Berry Farm. It was fun because we went with a bunch of Janices friends. Many were my friends too!! I love her people in a big way. The next day, or some days later Janice and I, along with another couple Vicky & her b/f Daniel went to this really rich neighborhood that does massive amounts of lit up houses. SO MANY HOUSES!! It was so much fun, and truly beautiful. They sold treats on the street in front of the houses, and there were so many people! Next stop was Disney Land!! We had an amazing breakfast at the place Janice use to work at. The food was SOOO GOOD!! That girl knows how to eat too, I tell you what! ;o) The cool thing about this picture is that a complete stranger walked by us and stopped to say, "Ohhh, you two look so happy!!" It made us both smile and feel good. This was while we waited in line for the Haunted Mansion. Janice is toe most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. This was the first day I got to see the Pacific ocean in person. It was truly amazing, to see, smell, and almost taste the ocean. It was a really beautiful thing. To feel the breeze, I felt like I belonged there. I really did. I would love to live by the ocean, is that wrong?

There are so many more pictures. I am just going to throw a bunch of random ones in, and let them speak for themselves. ENJOY!!

What an amazing trip I had. But I am home now, getting back into the groove of a new semester. Ready to kick some butt and work really hard at doing the best I can do. Living a life for Christ and acting on the Holy Spirit, not my own.

wedding picture & thoughts

2010-01-09T11:58:00.001-08:00

So right now I am sitting in Janices living room. I just got done dropping her off at school. She started her weekend class today. It sucks because today is really our last day. :~( She has to go to class all day today, and tomorrow, and tomorrow I leave to go back home. Yesterday was our last full day together. It was super fun though. We went to a wedding, that is where I took that beautiful picture of Janice you see above. I have had so much fun here. I mean it has really been amazing. I have experienced so many new things that i've never done or been apart of before. I like California a lot. I like the scenery, I like the people, I like the weather, but I LOVE Janice. That seems to be the most appealing part of California to me. It will be really interesting to see what all God has in store for me and for us. I know it will work out, it is just the whole patience thing that is
really difficult. I'm gonna do it though, mostly because I have no choice. ;~)

Mikey+Jesus+Janice=love

video update for ya

2010-01-05T23:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, we made these two videos on the roof of Janices house in Cabo. They are both very similar, but they have a different feel and well, just enjoy.

Yeah, I know there is a really awkward hair flip that I did right at the start, but hey the hair is getting long so it just happens! ;-)

Janice didn't really want to be in the first video, so this one was made. Seriously, I got to do so much in Mexico. The best part was spending time with Janice. I love this girl. It is going to suck to go home in 5 days. . . .

Now I have massive amounts of pictures, but I don't even have the slightest idea how to sort through them all right now. If I had my computer and my software, it would be different. But on Janices computer and with her stuff, it is very difficult. Anyways, this will be good for now.

flying out

2009-12-27T11:26:00.001-08:00

So I am waiting on the plane in L.A.X. waiting for our flight to leave to Cabo San Lucas Mexico. It is Janice, me, and her parents. I am not doing good to stay updated on here, but I am so busy with Janice. . . . for me it's very good. I am having a BLAST, it is going good with her parents and all is well. :~)

I'll update when I get back. . . . I swear!

Mikey+Jesus+Janice=love

Christmas Video

2009-12-25T01:52:00.000-08:00

Here is just a slight video update. It is all I got for now. I promise I will get some pictures uploaded before I go to Mexico on Sunday. SUNDAY??? Goodness, I can't believe I am going to go to Mexico for New Years!!!

My life, My journey

Ohh it is official, I am getting married!

Mustache CONTEST!!

last club

A wall and some rain

I have a right to be tired today.

marvelous day for real

post # 1,111

productive Tuesday

tilling anyone?

:o)

Bible study & cereal club

joyful noise

running anyone?

it got brought!!

LONG TIME NO POST!!

The deed is done

Twitter is coming to my BLOG

reaching kids

I need to post on this thing

ohhh man

passion & authority. . . lol

chi-town (3)

I'm STUMBLING

good food and friends

Ta Ta

camp, video, tired

Easter is a fine day

Windows 7

Life is so good. God is doing some amazing stuff.

last supper

My notes from BSF, right out of my note pad

Sweet jams today

D&B

man of the hour

Study day for sure

you won't believe it...

walking dog

awesome club sweet hang out time

I liked this so I wanted to share

ughhh

before & after

an update finally

The little ones do bring joy

Bible Study & George

funny pic & learning

A journey of epic proportions

I really should be be sleeping

fart time

TO JANICE

st. peters

Mer

It happens, and i'm glad

The Circle experience # 2

It pays to seek His kingdom

study, exam, bar, ticket

toothbrush & a Bible study + horrible event

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